On men who play video games

But Coquette, there are lots of quality video games with more than worthwhile storylines and soundtracks.

Yeah, but I’m looking for quality men with worthwhile storylines and soundtracks.


36 thoughts on “On men who play video games

  1. Chops says:

    I think the problem is when thats all they do and its all they have to be proud of.

    side note: Yes, Im aware my avatar is a gaming character. It’s old and I have no idea how to change it because I have no idea which one of the myriad online accounts this comment system is tied to.

  2. B says:

    What if he’s 16-19 and doesn’t fit into any other type of “fuckboy”? Is there an age where they should stop? I’ve seen people comment on how they grow out of it. Is it bad that it’s kind of attractive to me that he’s good at them?

    • RocketGrunt says:

      Date him. His gaming skills will stop being attractive sooner or later, and you’ll have answers to all your questions.

  3. max stirling says:

    I’ve always had the opinion that as long as someone’s “hobbies” aren’t illegal and doesn’t override their ability to function as an adult then I don’t really care. Except for jogging, to quote Ann Perkins “I know jogging keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?”. You can do that with anyone but me.

  4. Rose says:

    Is this a generation gap thing? I hardly know anyone my age who doesn’t have at least a passing interest in video games, whereas I know a number over 35 who want nothing to do with them. Maybe it’s just the circles I run in, I don’t know.

  5. Lilac says:

    My husband and I both play video games when we need to relax. We also go out, spend most of our free time hiking and climbing, and are planning our next trip abroad. Aside from leisure, we are building our own company for low-income homes made from natural and recycled materials. We know other friends who play video games, but have also lived in third world countries and fought in wars. Don’t discredit a guy for the way he chooses to unwind after work. Mindless means of entertainment are important for shutting off your brain sometimes.

  6. Gab says:

    “My SO likes cinema, they enjoy the storylines and soundtracks”

    “Yes but I want a MAN who has his OWN storylines and soundtracks”

  7. SomeTittedOffGamer says:

    I think I might understand what you mean. People who sit extensively at home playing video games logically won’t be providing as much in the way of life experiences as far as the real world is concerned, if I get your meaning correctly. Maybe that means to you that they’re lacking in concrete data off which you can figure out what they’re really all about?

    Admittedly, as a passionate gamer and fan, I’m unsurprisingly miffed haha. It’s just me not emotionally distinguishing your value judgement in the context of your choice of men from a blanket statement but, you know, screw you anyway, Coke!

  8. Brynn says:

    Well, every time coke says something unpopular, it’s nothing short of hilarious. I can’t decide if I find more humor in people conflating her judgement of a hobby/potential partners with a judgement of them or their value, or in coke staunchly defending a mindless opinion.

    Coke wanted to start some internet drama, and she got her wish. lol

      • Buttlord GT says:

        Ooh, careful about mentioning Gamergate. I hear that if you say that name three times to a bathroom mirror, you’ll summon an army of nerds ready to spam you with anime gifs and Breitbart articles.

  9. M says:

    Love your writing but that read like a soundbite from a cheesy rom-com trailer. You’re just trolling male gamers right now though, aren’t ya? Well played.

  10. RocketGrunt says:

    When I was in high school, my very first date was a with a gamer. He told me he had to be home by 6 because he had a WoW raid scheduled.

    When I was in community college, most of my friends were guy gamers. They had no idea how to treat girls like people and were always making degrading sexual comments about me and their other girl friends.

    When I was in university, I was in a long-distance relationship with a gamer. He spent half of spring break with me, then went back to the dorms early to play video games for days.

    I enjoy video games and most of my best girl friends are avid gamers, but I will not date or befriend guy gamers anymore.

    • Mel says:

      There’s definitely the clich√© male gamer who is also a total sexist asshole. A depressingly large number of them at that. But there are some good ones.

  11. Mel says:

    I see playing video games like watching a movie. It’s certainly a more attractive pastime to me than watching hours of mindless television, which many people I know choose to do in order to relax. However excessive gaming, like anything else, can be unhealthy.

  12. Light37 says:

    She goes on to say, “It’s fine to play video games, but come on, it’s pretty unforgivable if that’s the only activity listed on your dating profile.”

    Like Coquette, I would consider this fair warning and avoid. You may be a great person, but all I have to go on is what you include in your profile. “Gaming” alone doesn’t tell me that you’re also into collecting baby owl statues/learning French/making your own mead/promoting STEM education for women and minorities, any of which would catch my interest.

  13. C says:

    She’s right. Men who are into gaming are bland. I’m in my mid-twenties and it’s a turn off. Get a proper hobby and learn something useful.

  14. PD says:

    Context is important. If “playing video games” is the ONLY thing you list on your dating profile … yeah. There’s something to be said about that. This isn’t a generalization of all people all playing video games.

  15. ATW says:

    More for me! I’m a lady who’s been playing videogames since before I could read. Nowadays, I make them myself. It’s a worthwhile media, trust me, and it gets better every decade!

    I sometimes wonder what would happen if I was in a serious relationship with a guy who didn’t play videogames…

    • Buttlord GT says:

      Well, it’s nice to have common interests, but there are tons of adults who have loving, stable relationships even when their hobbies don’t entirely overlap. Best case scenario with dating a non-gamer would be that you get to introduce them to something new, and you’d get to learn something new when they introduce you to their favorite hobbies. Both of you could grow as people, which is a nice thing to get out of a relationship.

      (Also, Coquette’s not bashing video games as a whole, just men who define themselves solely by playing video games. Reading comprehension is cool.)

  16. Buttlord GT says:

    Dear nerds and nerdettes, y’all need to chill the fuck out. I can see how the iffy wording might make it look like Coke is bashing video games, but she clarifies in a following tweet that she’s not bashing games as a medium, she’s just bashing dating profiles that only list video games as a hobby (which is a 100% legit sign of a boring motherfucker, to be sure). In fact, if you’ve been following her long enough, you’ll probably remember posts where she talks about Grand Theft Auto V and Anita Sarkeesian in a positive light.

    The salt from some of these comments. As if Coke’s gonna start dating them if they defend the honor of gaming hard enough, jeez.

    • Gaybeard says:

      Hey, don’t ruin the dream. I’m still fantasizing about my coquette in shining armour climbing into my tower cell and rolling her eyes at me.

  17. Strangely Rational says:

    I totally get where you’re coming from when it comes to dating preferences, so this isn’t an argument against that at all but more of a comment in the general discussion about whether gamers are boring and/or immature.

    My husband is genius-level intelligent (not an exaggeration), extremely articulate and well-read, and has a level of depth and insight that would match yours, Coquette. We have the most incredible conversations (and great sex, while we’re at it!).

    His primary leisure activity is gaming. He has depression and PTSD from some severe childhood trauma, and he has been unable to work his entire adult life. Gaming gets him out of his head for awhile so he doesn’t have to think about it as much. It doesn’t always work, but it’s the one thing that’s most likely to (in addition to meds). He plays complex strategy games on the highest difficulty level, so this isn’t just mindless entertainment but actually requires a great deal of thought and planning. In fact, he doesn’t enjoy watching TV because he considers that mindless. To answer an obvious question, yes, he’s tried reading as a distraction, but these days it’s difficult for him to focus on it for terribly long. He does better with gaming and listening to science podcasts.

    He’s insecure about “not doing anything productive,” because he knows the attitude that society tends to take about people like him. But I’ve been supportive because he’s had enough shit to deal with in his life, and if this makes him feel better, then that’s what he needs to do. There has been some recent research suggesting that gaming may help with anxiety and depression – I don’t know how solid that is, but I do see the difference it makes in my husband.

    Like I said, I’m not getting down on anyone’s dating preferences at all. I have my own (dedicated sports enthusiasts and weight lifters need not apply). But just felt like adding a different perspective.

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