Fun-Sized Advice

On more fun-sized advice

What’s your biggest dealbreaker in dating?

What do you eat?

My diet is an oxymoron best summed up through the idea of farm-to-table Doritos Locos Tacos.

What does it mean when a guy says that he doesn’t deserve you? Red flag?

Yeah. It’s a bullshit way of saying that he appreciates the things you do for him, but he’s not quite into you enough to commit to a relationship.

Do you think Leo will ever win the Oscar?

Of course he will.

Take the first thing you’re offered or wait until more comes along?

Don’t be so passive. Go get what you want.

Why are people so resentful of their bosses?

Because bosses are an immediate personification of capitalist oppression.

Is it appropriate to tell someone you want to start a relationship with them on/near Valentine’s Day?

Don’t be that person.

What kind of condoms should I keep on hand for backup?

Crown Skinless Skin Condoms

Why do I get jealous when my boyfriend goes out and has fun without me? It seems like a simple question but I can’t put my finger on the answer.

It is simple. You get jealous because you’re insecure in the relationship. You feel threatened by the fun he’s having without you because there’s a part of you that thinks he’ll suddenly realize that he’s bored with you. It’s a side-effect of your mild abandonment issues combined with garden variety immaturity. (You really need to let this shit go. It’s relationship poison.)

Last night, a guy friend of mine confessed his crush on me, and then told me I’m complicated but not in a good way. What does that mean?

It means he likes Zach Braff movies, and he hates the last couple of dudes you hooked up with.


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