Best-Of Advice

On not being a doormat

Are there any tips you can give a girl on how to be less of a doormat? I let people walk all the fuck over me, and I have pretty much my whole life. I know the response I’m going to get is probably something like “Well cut it out, tell people to fuck off.” I know it should just be as simple as that but it’s really just never been that easy for me. And if that’s really the only way, then cool, but I thought I would ask anyway.

Telling people to fuck off is easy. That’s not your problem.

Your problem is you’re terrified that they actually might go and fuck off.

Your fear of abandonment outweighs your need for a little respect, and so all the assholes that worm their way into your life tend to stay there because you’ll put up with their shit when other folks won’t.

Deal with your abandonment issues. Overcome your fear of losing people and replace it with the realization that your life would actually be better if all the assholes were out of it.

You have to be willing to lose people before telling them to fuck off has any weight behind it. Otherwise, an asshole will call your bluff every time.

This isn’t about being a hard ass. It’s about having self respect. No one else will ever respect you if you don’t first.

If someone disrespects you, let them know. Allow them to apologize. Do not turn the other cheek. If they fuck with you again, simply cut them out of your life.

Pretty soon, you’ll no longer need to tell people to fuck off, because you’ll be surrounded by good people who don’t treat you like a doormat.

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