On online dating sites.

All my male friends are on eHarmony. So I, a female, decided to sign up after leaving my ex. Do you honestly think people can fall in love with someone they met online? It feels so unnatural. Like I’m picking out my dog based on pictures and carefully scripted “About Me’s.”

Sure. People can fall in love with someone they meet online. Haven’t you seen all those shitty commercials? It happens all the time.

Quite frankly, when you consider the historical alternatives, the digital love pimps over at eHarmony have put together a rather elegant and streamlined version of a traditional courtship ritual. It only feels unnatural because you’re not used to it.

If you take a moment to stop and look around, you’ll find that our world is full of commonplace extravagances that humans living in any other era would consider bizarre.

You want to talk unnatural? How about ordering processed food off of glossy picture menus at chain restaurant? That shit is way more unnatural than something like eHarmony, but fuck it. You’ll order up some jalapeno poppers at TGI Fridays without giving it a second thought.

All I’m saying is that a picture menu is a picture menu. We live in a culture that likes to look at a product shot and point. It doesn’t matter if it’s a husband or a basket of curly fries. Order up.


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