So I always thought I was pretty open when it comes to sex, I’ve always been able to tell whoever I’m fucking how I like it and what I want.
However I’ve been with this amazing guy for four months and he told me he thinks I’m closed off about sex. I was pretty bummed out that he thinks of me like that, as I’ve always been proud of myself as someone who’s proud of her sexuality and needs. The thing is, he does everything I like and more, so I don’t feel the need to start talking when we’re fucking. Do you think this is his way of getting me to talk dirty? If so, how do I introduce that into a relationship when I’ve not done it for four months?
Also do you think I’m trying to act like a ‘lady’ by not talking dirty because I really like him?
His remark strikes me as a bit of unconscious manipulation. He was feeling threatened by the power balance in the relationship, and his ego reached out and gave you a little passive aggressive bitch slap.
This isn’t a bad thing. It most likely means he’s got legitimate feelings for you, and this is his clumsy way of exerting control over the situation. It’s not just that he wants you to talk dirty. He wants you to obey him by talking dirty. It’s a dominance thing, but not in an unhealthy way.
Also, yes. You are definitely holding back with this guy because you really like him. There’s a difference between being ladylike in bed and being sexually submissive. One is passive. One is active. He just wants you to be more active.
That all being said, don’t overthink this one. There’s really not even a problem here. Next time you’re fucking, just let go. Show him some freak.
I promise, you’ll both have more fun.