I want my boyfriend to lose weight. He’s 230 pounds, 5 foot 10 inches, and heavier than his father. He isn’t muscular, so his weight isn’t muscle. I would never tell him that, because I don’t want to hurt his feelings (in fact, I tell him he looks fine to me). He says probably twice a week or more that he needs to lose weight and/or go to the gym and work out, but that just never happens. I’d go to the gym and work out with him and try to inspire him that way, but I have a chronic pain condition so that rules that idea out. So how can I get him to lose that belly and those manboobs without seeming like a total superficial bitch?

You don’t have to be bitchy, but stop telling him he looks fine. Buy him a gym membership. Get him a few sessions with a trainer. Use your own money and guilt him into going.

This doesn’t have to be about anything superficial. This is about health and having a little respect for one’s physical appearance.

Trust me, he wants you to push him a little. That’s what those comments are about. He’s looking to you. Your opinion matters, and until he stops getting your tacit approval of his current condition, he’s not going to change.