On prime break-up season.

I want to break up with my boyfriend but we’ve already bought tickets to Coachella & reserved a place to stay. Also, Valentine’s Day is coming up. Should I do it now or wait later? I just don’t like wasting money and breaking up before a holiday is just mean.

You know what’s really mean? Pretending you still want to be with someone for a Coachella ticket. End it now. Make it fast and clean.

Don’t let your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend go through all that Valentine’s Day bullshit when you’ve already checked out of the relationship. That’s not cool.

Besides, Coachella is still seventy-five days away. If you’re the kind of twit who refers to Valentines Day as an actual holiday, I can’t imagine you’d be able to fake it for two and a half months.

Don’t worry about wasting money. That’s ridiculous. You can make money. Coachella tickets are going for seven hundred bucks at the moment. Your boyfriend could go onto Craigslist right now and list the room reservation and two three day passes as a “Coachella Break-Up Package” and sell that shit for well over two grand.

Of course, if you really wanna go to Coachella, you could always offer to buy him out after the break-up. Find a friend who’ll throw down for his ticket and half of the room. Do you have a crazy-ass wingbitch with a solid ecstasy hook-up? That’s the girl you ask first.

Whatever you do, don’t wait to end things. This is prime break-up season, so if you’re sure it’s over, just get it done.


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