Advice

On setting your biological clock.

My boyfriend and I have been happily together for 5 years. We’re in our early 30’s. I want kids one day and he doesn’t have that desire. He said maybe that could change down the line, but he doesn’t know. I’m curious about your take on this – Enjoy our kick ass relationship and hope / wait? Or break up with him and find a partner who wants kids?

Yeah. Tough spot.

Here’s the thing. Would he make a good father? If not, ditch him now and get it over with.

On the other hand, If he’s brimming with unrealized daddy potential, perhaps you should consider waiting a bit longer until you both hit the seven year itch in your relationship.

Things are good now. You’re not ready for kids yet, and there’s at least a chance that he’ll lose a few hairs, realize his age, and grow out of whatever extended urban adolescence is preventing him from wanting to enter a state of fatherhood.

Don’t count on it, though. When the seven year itch rolls around, there will be a natural phase when both of you start questioning what you want out of the relationship. If you don’t catch him wondering what it would be like to have a male heir, take the opportunity to move on.

You’ll be in your mid thirties — still young enough to go looking, but old enough for it not to seem conspicuous that kids are at the top of your to-do list.

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