On shanking a bitch

any advice for dealing with a randomly assigned roommate who has the common sense of a twelve year old?

she’s twenty, its her first time being out of the house, and i’m certain she came to school looking for a babysitter instead of an education. i’m tired of picking up her shit, i’m tired of dealing with her passive agressive immaturity (oh, you deleted me from facebook? you hid the toilet cleaner? you left a banana split (SERIOUSLY!) for me to step on? i can’t help but laugh.), and i’m over the “oh my god mommy and dadddy aren’t watching me so i can get trashed off a bacardi and a half!” phase already.

i’m strong enough to deal with a lot of things, but i have absolutely no patience for outright disrespect. this girl didn’t know who andy warhol was and tried to explain to me that “people are gay for attention, god wouldn’t make anyone actually be that way.” in the beginning, despite all of this, i attempted to be nice to her. in fact, i gave it a sincere effort. i’m about to lose my mind though, and unfortunately moving out is not an option.

Moving out is always an option, and unless you want to continue being miserable it’s either you or her.

In every instance where one is randomly assigned a roommate, there are long lists of rules and regulations designed to protect the institution from liability.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s a dorm, a sorority house, or a minimum security prison — there is always an official document filled with little known subparagraphs that outline the circumstances under which someone will be moved out.

Find that document. Study it. Start some shit.

She’s already announced which team she’s on with that ignorant-ass remark about god and gays, so I give you full permission to go nuclear on that cunt.

Write letters. Plant evidence. Make her life a living hell.

She doesn’t deserve any less.


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