In your reply to the man who is worried for his girlfriend who has recently started smoking opium, I was offended to see this in your answer: “…bipolar junkie who will fill your life with misery and chaos right up until the day that you cut her out of it.”
The point is she’s a junkie, not that she’s bipolar. Her bipolar disorder could be managed if she were to take prescribed medication and not self medicate by smoking opium.
I’m bipolar and my problems are managed because I take my medication regularly and don’t self medicate. I’m in a happy relationship and I have a supportive boyfriend – I’m supportive of him too when he has his own problems so it’s a two way thing.
Fair enough, with this couple, they’re in a long distance relationship so it can be hard for him to be as supportive as he’d like. It can also be hard for her to sort her life out without a good kick up the backside. However, there is a massive difference between being in a supportive relationship and being ‘codependent’, as you put it.
I will admit that to those looking in on this couple’s life, it may seem that the girl suffering with bipolar is being slightly selfish. She may turn round one day and think that herself but, until then, she’s living in her own bubble and perhaps right now she thinks the only way she can manage her moods is through self medicating by use of opium. It is very dangerous and I do not condone it but even people without mental health problems have been there, in a round-about way; drinking or taking drugs to feel happy or sleepy or whatever…
I generally think your advice is good but I just had to disagree this time. I just think that what he needs to do, before he goes and breaks up with her, is suggest she take her medication – or try to find some that suits her – and then they can see how it is from there. There is no point in dropping everything in their relationship over this. People have gone through worse shit and have come out better for it.
You were offended because you took it personally. You’re bipolar, so it hit close to home. If the bitch had down’s syndrome, I still would have given the same advice, but I’d be getting letters from a Special Olympics mom instead of you.
Listen, I don’t mince words. I don’t coddle. People are responsible for their actions regardless of any diagnosed mental disorder.
You get a cookie for managing your condition, but don’t jump down my throat because you’ve confused empathy for compassion. I wasn’t talking about you, and I didn’t tell your boyfriend to break up with you.
Also, it’s not just that she’s bipolar, nor is it really about drug use. It’s about a mutual pattern of behavior that’s pretty evident if you read between the lines of his letter. The relationship is riddled with codependence, and it’s as much his fault for passive-aggressively putting up with her shit.
I guarantee he’s already constantly up her ass about taking medication. It’s his way of showing love, and it undoubtedly drives her even crazier. That’s the real problem here — these two simply aren’t suited for one another.
We’ve all got issues, and I’m certainly not saying that bipolar people don’t deserve love. At the same time, I’m not going to recommend that two people hobble along in a toxic relationship simply because you need to feel there’s hope.