Best-Of Advice

On the real thing

How do I keep myself from feeling jaded and bitter that I’ve never found anything more than the kind of sex for sale on TV?

The whole reason they’re selling that kind of sex on TV is so they can make you feel jaded and bitter about your sexuality. That’s how they get you to buy all the other silly plastic things.

Stop letting consumer culture define sex for you. You’ve never found anything more than the kind of sex for sale on TV because you haven’t even stopped to examine for yourself what the real thing might be like.

It’s up to you to figure it out. It requires self-exploration and probably a little experimentation. You have to relentlessly ask yourself “Why?” You have to be vulnerable. You have to be willing to connect with another human being on terms that you define by and for yourself.

That’s the thrilling part, the connection. I’m not talking about love. Hell, I’m not even talking about chemistry. I’m talking about a mutual and momentary annihilation of the ego through a sexual act. It’s some spiritual shit. The sex itself is almost incidental, and that’s kind of the point.

How you go about finding it is your own thing, but you have to be willing to fucking look for it. You have to recognize that it’s an internal quest. Those are never easy, and while it might occasionally leave you confused and frustrated, at least it won’t leave you jaded and bitter.


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