In the past I’ve been a cam girl, a sugar baby, a dominatrix, and an escort. The money for all of these things was phenomenal. I’d love to become a stripper. My (AMAZING but very vanilla) bf doesn’t approve of any of these things. Do I keep the boy, stay broke and have love? Or do I make my shitloads of money off sex work and come home to an empty bed at night? I’m 21.

Okay, I’m gonna go ahead and call this situation the “whore’s fallacy.” It’s that classic false dichotomy between love or money that sex workers insist upon whining about, and it’s total bullshit.

You don’t have to choose between love or money. You can have both.

All you need is the emotional intelligence to engage in sex work safely and thoughtfully, the emotional integrity to choose a boyfriend who is strong enough handle it, and the emotional honesty to be open with him about what you do.

I suppose that’s a pretty tall order when you consider the circumstances of most sex workers, but still, it is possible.

In your case, who knows? You’re young. Odds are, this guy isn’t going to be the love of your life, so when you break up you can start making bank again. Whenever that happens, maybe you should modify your standards.

No more disapproving men.

* to the person who asked the follow up: the answer to your question is yes. As for your comment, I understand where you’re coming from, and I can’t disagree with an anecdote. Still, there are all types of sex workers, each with her own set of special circumstances. A stripper has it different than a porn star, and a porn star has it different than an escort. I think you’d be surprised how realistic your expectations could be if you actually expected them.