On when I don’t respond

I’ve written you so many times about my past sexual trauma and you’ve never replied. I know it’s not your job. Your a busy woman. But you always are so protective of other rape victims who wrote you and man it fucks me up. That rejection. Not being damaged enough. No one cares.

I know. You’re not my therapist. It’s not your job. But somehow I’ve attached your acknowledgment to a sort of validation. It’s not your fault. But it fucks me up.


It’s not your fault either. Believe me, it has nothing to do with “not being damaged enough.” Please don’t take my not responding as a belittlement of your trauma.

I simply cannot respond to all the submissions I get, even the gut-wrenching and deadly serious ones about rape and abuse and suicide. I wish I could, but it’s just not possible.

Try not to take it personally when I don’t respond. At the same time, I know it’s kind of a shitty thing for me to ask that you not take it personally, because I know how personal it is for you to write in about things like that.

Still, I’m very sorry for having fucked you up by not responding. (That goes for everyone who’s never heard back from me.) I hope you understand that it’s not because I don’t care, and it sure as hell isn’t a rejection of you.


6 thoughts on “On when I don’t respond

  1. RocketGrunt says:

    It’d be cool if there was a coketalk-themed forum for rape victims to hang out and support each other. It would be like other support forums, but this one would have The Coquette stopping by to castrate trolls and victim-blamers.

  2. Doesntmatter says:

    Thank you to the person who submitted, and to coquette for answering. I’ve had the same feeling and felt ridiculous about it, but also strangely hurt. Also yes please to a forum!

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