Advice

On when not to be polite

As I was turning in my final on the last day of class today, my professor offered to go over my grade with me.  Long story short, he pointed to the only D I have received thus far (otherwise all A’s) and said verbatim “What happened here?  You should be embarrassed.  I should spank you for this.  You you’d probably like that, right?”  I was dumbfounded, chuckled instinctually, and he furthered “Oh look I’m making you blush, I didn’t mean to make you blush.”  All around fucked dude, and I’m pissed.  My parents told me to get used to this treatment in the workplace and in life but I think it’s fucked and am seriously violated.  What the fuck should I do?

First off, don’t ever get used to it. Assholes are gonna violate the social contract. You can come to expect it. You can even be prepared for it, but don’t ever get used to it.

Most people are decent and will stick within the boundaries of acceptable behavior, but occasionally, you’ll come across an asshole who deliberately crosses the line for no other reason than to fuck with you.

Don’t put up with that shit for one second. If someone violates the social contract, you should feel free to do the same. You don’t have to continue being polite. Come back over the top of him with guns blazing.

I’m not talking about instances where your physical safety is threatened. That’s different. If that’s ever the case, just get the fuck out of the room. I’m talking about bullies and creeps who just get off on watching you squirm.

Hold on to just a little bit of that pissed off feeling you’ve got right now. Keep it as a pilot light so that when shit like this happens in the future, you’ll be ready to shoot fire with your eyes and say, “Don’t talk to me like that, motherfucker, or I’ll have you in shit up to your ears so fast you’ll wish the letter D wasn’t even in the alphabet.”

And of course, don’t get caught up with the words. They aren’t important, and they don’t have to be threatening or clever. What matters is the force of will to refuse the violation. If it comes out like venom, a simple, “Quit it, asshole” is all you’ll ever need.

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