Advice

On your first guy.

You seem to know alot sexually. I recently lost my virginity to a guy who I thought loved me, and now he only talks to me when he calls for phone sex. I know this is cliche and the only answer anyone seems to be able to give me is “Sorry, just get over him, he’s an asshole, etc”, but I thought that maybe you could give me some legitimate advice. Or at least tell me something, anything, to help me.

How old are you? How old is he? When was the first time you two fucked? When was the last time you two fucked? How often do you see him in person? How often does he call you for phone sex? Did you ever refer to him in public as your boyfriend? Did he ever refer to you in public as his girlfriend?

Send me answers, and I’ll send you my advice.

I’m seventeen, he’s eighteen. The first and last time was two months ago, and I’ve only seen him once since then. He calls for phone sex 2-3 times a week, and I haven’t referred to him as my boyfriend.

Okay, I’m willing to bet he’s not an asshole. He’s just a teenage boy, which for our purposes is much worse. The good news is that you’re not in love with him. That bad news is that he’s the guy who took your virginity.

For better or worse, you’re stuck with him. This guy is always gonna be the first track on your sex playlist, and until you’ve chosen a few more tunes, you can’t help but confuse being first for being number one.

I’m not suggesting you rush out and start fucking, but I do think it’s time for you to move on emotionally. Congratulations on getting your sex life started, but this relationship has served its purpose, and it’s time to end it.

Trust me. Set an early precedent. Be strong enough to end emotionally draining and unsatisfying relationships. Ending it now will make you a stronger woman, and with any luck, you’ll remember your first boy as a charming novelty.

And yes, that means no more phone sex. At your age, any kind of sexual behavior is easily confused with intimacy, and you don’t need that kind of static.

Honestly, it’s the most respectful thing you can do for yourself and for him.

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