On your screaming kid

“I’ll look a parent right in the eye and tell them to shut their fucking kids up. Then again, I’m an asshole.”

This hit the nerve for me. I have a two year old who is starting to talk and scream NOOOOOO out of no apparent reason. We are at a point where we don’t go to the restaurants but rather order food to go and eat at home. If you tell me to shut my fucking kid up, how am I supposed to control an excited talkative 2 year old. I do distract him into something else and sometimes that works. But are you saying this coz its easier for you to say this coz you don’t have any kids??

The first time your kid screams “NOOOOOO,” I will take notice of your kid.

The second time your kid screams “NOOOOOO,” I will take notice of you.

The third time your kid screams “NOOOOOO,” I will take notice of how you are responding to your kid in an environment where that kind of behavior is obviously not okay.

The fourth time your kid screams “NOOOOOO,” I will make eye contact with you, indicating that however you are responding to your kid, that shit ain’t working, and would you please handle the situation.

The fifth time your kid screams “NOOOOOO,” it will have become obvious not just to me, but to everyone else in the vicinity, that not only are you incapable of handling the situation, but you also don’t give a fuck that your kid is on everyone else’s nerves.

The sixth time your kid screams “NOOOOOO,” I will bite my fucking tongue.

The seventh time your kid screams “NOOOOOO,” my patience will reach its natural limits, and I will walk up to you, look you right in the eye, and tell you to shut your fucking kid up.

Does that make me an asshole? Sure, but honesty, after all that, I think maybe you’re a bigger one.


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