What are your unabashed thoughts on the Manic Pixie Dream Girl?

She’s the post-adolescent male version of a hyper-idealized romantic fantasy. In other words, Edward Cullen with tits instead of fangs.

She’s basically a femme fatale for guys that are pussies.

Pretty harmless, really.

Im 15, and it seems to be that all of a sudden every new guy I meet and even old friends are starting to view me as a sex object. Guys that used to talk to me about their girlfriends and ask me about my day are starting to ask me for nudes. I actually feel like I havent had a non-sexual conversation with a male of my age in quite awhile. Except one. He’s immature and awkward, but I can tell he has a little thing for me. He happens to be the one I like best. If I have such an easy time getting other guys to hit on me, what is going on with this one? Can you maybe give me a quick fix on how to open up a flirty conversation with him and start the relationship going in a romantic direction? Cuz it doesnt seem like Im having a problem with anyone else! (Btw, wtf at everyone suddenly trying to jump my bones. Im totally loving it and Im not complaining, it was just so sudden!)

You grew tits, sweetie. Don’t act all surprised that boys want to fuck you.

Also — and I have to remind my teenage readers every once and awhile — I’m really not the person you want to be passing a note in study hall. I’m a coked up L.A. party girl, not Judy fucking Blume.

If you wanna know how to whip up a holiday batch of ketamine using peppermint extract, or about proper finger etiquette when sticking ecstasy up a friend’s ass, then sure — I’m your girl. As for flirting with fifteen year olds, I don’t know what to tell you.

The best I can do is suggest that you stick to the basics: always laugh at his jokes, don’t be afraid to initiate physical contact, and do your best to ignore his erection during casual conversation.

Other than that, just don’t get knocked up.

(Also, hold off on sharing nudes. Last I checked, emailing a camera phone pic of your underage rack still counted as a federal fucking crime.)

Turning drunken sex into a meaningful, life-long partnership – is it as hard as it looks?

Sounds sarcastic, but jesus it’s a real problem, you know?

Drunken sex? Hell, turning anything into a life-long partnership is hard.

Quit looking for the person you want in the grave next to you, and just find somebody you don’t mind mind waking up in the bed next to you.

Best way to start dating again if still bitterly single from last meaningful relationship? And don’t say tequila, xanax or drunken sex.

How ‘bout you lose the attitude?

It doesn’t matter how much of an asshole your ex was. You are responsible for your own emotional state. It’s your own fault if you’re bitter. Get over it.

If you’re packing all this emotional baggage, don’t even bother dating. It’s a waste of everyone’s time.

(Especially without tequila, xanax, or drunken sex.)

All women have their “oh god i’m hideous and ugly and fat” days. What should we do to make ourselves feel better?

Lose weight.

I’m an 18 year old, first semester english major THE premier community college of NYC, and working my ass off to go to a big kid school, while working my ass off to feed my working ass. You’re interesting and funny, something I find really awesome and your opinion is one that has grown to be important to me. I hope to be a ‘successful novelist,’ but lets face it, there’s plenty of starving artists out there, just like me who think they’re creative and unique. However, I’m not exactly pigheaded enough to not realize I ain’t the best and there really is no best in writing. My question, dear coke talk, is should I pursue ‘my dream,’ or should i push it to the side for now and concentrate on something lucrative. I’m not a dumby, so I can accomplish myself in other fields, I’m just not passionate about them. Also, if you could check this out (it’d be huge cause you seem to have a lot on yo plate)

http://give-us-money.blogspot.com/2009/09/by-katie-waldron-barrage-of-microphones.html

it’s a less then 500 word short story I wrote, one of my best. Maybe it could be a reference point. In the end, I know it’s up to me but every opinion of an intellectual counts towards my final choice.

and if this is totally irrelevant to your interests and line of business being that you’re anon, sorry for wasting inbox space

Don’t ever ask someone whether you should pursue your dream. That’s like asking permission to breathe. Never give someone that kind of power over you.

As for your question, I don’t care what career you choose, but if you insist on calling yourself a writer then you need to work on your fundamentals. I’m talking about basic grammar, sentence structure, and consistency of tone. You may also want to get in the habit of running spell check.

No one will ever let you get away with breaking the rules if you can’t demonstrate that you first know them. It’s the only way to be taken seriously.

And by the way, I’m not talking about your short story here. I’m talking about your email. That’s my first impression of your skills, and it’s all I need to determine whether you really consider yourself a writer.

Sitting down in front of a keyboard is a sacred thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s a novel, an email, or a fucking TPS report. A writer is accountable for every word she writes, and a writer brings her A-game every time.

I appreciate that you’re passionate about this, but passion and dedication aren’t the same thing.

Good luck with whatever you choose to be.

How do you know when to call it quits with a fuckbuddy?

A few issues: He’s my boss. He’s practically engaged (he’s shown me the $20k ring, which I find outrageous), and has said that he “loves everything about me and would totally date me if it weren’t for his girlfriend”.

I don’t want to date him and I know that things will eventually change (or so he says, once he actually proposes) and that’s fine, but I’ll admit that I enjoy having control and I would like it to stay that way.

So, if your boss followed the three month’s salary rule, he’s pulling down eighty grand a year. If he’s corporate, that puts him at the non-professional junior executive level, probably early thirties, and clearly a world class douchebag for cheating on his soon-to-be fiance with a subordinate at work.

Unless his dad owns the company, this guy probably doesn’t have the power to single-handedly promote you, but he can make a recommendation.

If you enjoy having control, I suggest you exert some.

The balance of power shifts dramatically in your favor the day he proposes. On that day, congratulate him and then make a formal request for a promotion with a raise. Do it all with a smile, and don’t even hint at anything shady. Trust me, he’ll get the message.

It will immediately end the fuckbuddy status of your relationship because he’ll be terrified of you, and yet everything stays friendly. Plus, he’ll do everything in his power to get you all the perks you ask for.

Every guy I ever get really close to always seems to regard me as “just friends.” Shouldn’t it be the other way around? I mean, I don’t think I’m an unattractive girl. I’m cute, at the very least, I have honkin’ boobs, and I’m not unwilling to hook up. So what’s stopping all these guys from liking me? I don’t have bad personality, I’m not fat, and I’m not ugly, but it seems like that last few guy friends I’ve grown close to have been like, “I really like you wait jklol we’re just friends.” I’m sick of being lead on, and I’m sick of not getting any action.

How do I keep from getting lead on? More importantly, how do I keep from going into “just friends” territory?

Stop looking for boyfriends amongst your guy friends. Platonic relationships are different than romantic ones. They begin differently, they progress differently, and they sure as hell end differently.

It’s incredibly difficult and very rare to make an honest shift between platonic and romantic. It’s relationship alchemy.

You may think there’s a double standard here, but there isn’t. The friend zone is real for both genders. The only difference is that guys are more likely to fuck you if you’re in their friend zone — once. That’s probably what’s causing you such frustration.

In fact, the whole notion of “starting off as friends” is kind of bullshit. Most of the time when couples describe how they started off as friends, that’s not really true. Whether they admitted it or not, it had always been romantic, and the timing finally worked out.

If you want to keep from getting lead on, then stop kidding yourself. Every girl knows the difference between platonic and romantic. If he’s not interested in fucking you from day one, it’s platonic. It’s as simple as that.

So a few girlfriends and I recently just went to the bar. After getting our drink on for a few hours, some guy came over and was talking to us. We were all flirting with him and he got one friend’s number at the bar. Meanwhile, he was feeling me up under the table. As we were leaving, he whispered “Don’t go” and asked for my number. As soon as we got home, he texted my friend and I. She went to bed, though, and ignored his text. I was down for a good fuck and went to his hotel. I told my friend about it the next day and she has proceeded to continually call him “creepy” and “weird”. Supposedly a friend of hers knows the guy and says he’s a player. What I’m wondering is if you think my friend is just being bitchy out of jealousy? I mean, she could’ve fucked him too, and it’s not like I didn’t know that he also texted her. I’m fine with us all knowing he is a player but I can’t help but be slightly offended that she keeps shit talking. I’ve kind of just let it go since, but I wanted a second, unbiased opinion. Does this seem like she is acting out of jealousy? Am I just dwelling on it too much? She has had many one night stands herself.

This could be jealousy. Then again, your friend probably just has higher standards than you.

Are you so desperate for attention that you find it acceptable for a stranger to be scratching your camel toe while he’s scoring your friend’s phone number?

Are you so desperate for random dick that you’ll answer a hail mary booty text from a guy that you know is alone in his hotel room shotgunning through his phone log?

I hate to break it to you, but the guy really does sound creepy and weird. I guarantee if you didn’t show up and fuck him for free, his next call would have been to an escort service.

I’m all for one night stands, but have some dignity next time.