Does drunk cuddling constitute a form of cheating? And if not, why do I feel so guilty about it?
Oh, Bambi. You feel guilty because you consider cuddling to be an act of intimacy, and so it feels like cheating when you do it drunkenly with someone other than your partner.
Good for you for being all adorable and having a conscience about the whole thing, but remember that innocence is lost in inches.
How would you go about suggesting and then initiating a threesome? i have a girlfriend that’s told me she wants to party one night and “have a lesbian moment.” also, her boyfriend is sexy and has stated in the past that he finds me desirable as well, and has made comments about how hot it would be if me and his gf had some fun together (big surprise). i think that with enough liquid courage (and enlightening drugs) that i can play this situation to my favor. your thoughts?
Propose a threesome date night. Let them take you out as a couple. Be playful about it — dinner, drinks, the whole routine.
It’ll start out cheeky and kind of innocent, but as the night progresses let things get more and more sexy. Flirt with them. Let them flirt with you.
I know it seems kind of silly, but trust me. A date night lets everyone get comfortable with the reality of what’s going to happen at the end of the evening.
Once you’re sure that everyone wants it to happen, don’t be afraid to act as master of ceremonies. Take them back to your place, crack open a bottle of wine, and start making out with them.
They’ll be ready for it.
My boyfriend and I of a year broke up a couple of months ago. We love each other very much, it just wasn’t working for us. We had a very clean break up and promised to stay friends. Although, lately we have been growing distant and we really have nothing to talk about. I really did want us to stay close for years to come. Any thoughts?
There’s no disrespect in both of you just letting shit go. It was a clean break, after all. Don’t fuck it up now.
It’s better to fade out and remember each other fondly than try and force some awkward post-relationship relationship.
I’m a 17 year old, relatively cute girl. Finding a date isn’t hard for me, but keeping a date is impossible. Things tend to go well until they find out I’m bisexual. There have been people who have flat-out told me that being bisexual was the issue and there have been people who immediately cut me out of their life upon my mini “coming out” with no goodbye.
Some assume that just because I appreciate both sexes I must be a giant, unfaithful slut. Others are certain that I’m an attention seeking, straight-as-an-arrow girl with daddy issues.
I’m neither and I hate that people assume I’m lying or incapable of a monogamous relationship, like it’s incomprehensible that I’m not attracted to strictly one sex.
Should I just avoid telling partners about my sexuality and hope for the best?
You’re bisexual. Whoop-dee-fuckin’-doo. Quit making such a big deal out of it.
It’s just like a self-centered teenager to think people should give her extra credit for swinging both ways. It’s even more like a teenager to assume that everyone else is assuming all kinds of dramatic things about her sexuality.
I think you’d be surprised how little people actually give a fuck. Trust me, if you can’t keep a date at your age, it’s not because you’re bisexual. It’s because you’re annoying.
And yes. Shut the fuck up about your sexuality. Mini coming outs? How tacky. Not only is it nobody else’s business, but no one likes a drama queen.
Have some discretion and tact. With a little emotional maturity, I think you’ll find people will stop running for the hills.
the past couple of months i’ve been thinking (almost non-stop, it seems) about fucking many of my guy friends. i know a lot of attractive men, and i entertain myself imagining how fun it would be to fuck them. i live in an area where “traditional values” are the norm, and any girl that has sex with more than one dude is automatically considered little miss sexual deviant. that said, i must admit that i really don’t give a damn what some sexually-deprived half-wit has to say about me and my sexual appetite. so, should i go for the platter of tempting man meat in front of me (especially if my boyfriend gives me the go-ahead) or continue to sit with my legs crossed and pretend i’m not a sexual being?
What? You want my permission or something? Go fuck.
WHY, oh, WHY, must all the best girls be straight?
Gay girls bitching that all the best girls are straight is just as silly as straight girls bitching that all the best boys are gay.
In either case, it usually means the girl doing the bitching has a taste for forbidden fruit. Is that it? Is there a ripe, delicious peach just out of arm’s length? Mmm. It looks so good up there, glistening and ready to be plucked. If only you could reach up and grab it.
Oh please, straight pussy doesn’t taste any sweeter than gay pussy. If you think it does, it’s all in your head. Maybe you love a challenge. Maybe it’s a bit of self-sabotage to prevent you from being in a position where you’re truly vulnerable.
Whatever it is, chill the fuck out and recognize that you’re the one making a problem for yourself. After all, the best girls are the ones that love you back.
The neighbor’s boy is stalking me. I’m 17, and I live in a small, religious town. I dated this guy when I was 15, and since we went to the same church I told him that Jesus wanted me to be single.
Now he’s following me to work, school, church, pretty much anywhere I go. I went for a drive in the country and he followed me for two hours straight. My parents think it’s cute, and his dad is the chief of police.
It was tolerable (horrid, but tolerable), but now I have an intelligent, older boyfriend from a nearby city. And he’s getting creepier. He’s talking to me about the things he sees me do and how Jesus wouldn’t like it (bong hits) but I don’t have any way out of this rat-trap town other than moving in with my boyfriend. My 21-year-old, college-educated boyfriend who just so happens to love a 17-year-old girl from a pop. 900 town.
I’m country, not stupid. How the fuck do I get safe or get out?
A town of 900 people has a police force? You mean three guys who share a shotgun and rusty crown vic, right? Seriously, don’t be intimidated by your town’s chief of police. There are mall cops with more jurisdictional authority than him.
If I were you, my first step would be to type this boy a letter expressing your concerns. Explain in no uncertain terms that he is making you feel uncomfortable and unsafe, and that you consider him to be a stalker.
Cite every specific example of his inappropriate behavior that you can remember, and formally express your desire for him to leave you alone. Make it clear, you wish there to be no further contact between the two of you.
Cc both your parents and the boy’s father on the letter. They each get a copy. Give the letter to your parents first, and let them know that you intend to hand deliver the boy’s copy and his father’s copy directly to the father in his capacity as chief of police.
At this point, your parents will probably freak out and have an opinion on the matter. Be strong. It’s time for them to take you seriously. You’re sick of being followed around, and you feel unsafe. This shit isn’t cute, and they either help protect you in their own way or allow you to deal with it yourself. If your father is half a man, he’ll go down to the police station with you.
Assuming your parents don’t have any better ideas, drive on down to the police station and ask for ten minutes of the chief’s time. Hand over the letters. Be respectful. Be firm. Explain that as both the chief of police and the boy’s father, he’s getting a copy. Ask him to deliver the letter to his son and thank him for taking care of the matter.
That’s really all you need to do. The letter is a powerful thing. You’ve started a paper trail. It’s tangible. It’s a record of events. It’s evidence. It will force a conversation between father and son, and I can almost guarantee that it will be enough to change things in your favor all on its own.
In a small town, something like this is better than a restraining order. After all, small town personal politics runs on embarrassment, and as chief of police, he’ll understand that this is a warning shot.
He’ll see that you’re the type who documents things, and he won’t want the next round of letters going to the church or the town council.
(Oh, and if you end up writing this thing, I’ll be happy to look it over for you.)
I just saw the one on permanent birth control, and I followed your (excellent) advice and looked at the Essure website, because I’m in the same boat.
Everything looked dandy until I read the part that said, “Essure does not contain hormones to interfere with your natural menstrual cycle. Your periods should more or less continue in their natural state.”
What. The. Eff.
So, a woman can be free from having to worry about pregnancy but still has to go through the pointless monthly hell that is a period? What fucking genius came up with this shit, because I can guarantee you it wasn’t a woman.
This is what pisses me off: Why has no one yet found a cure for the common rag? We have drugs that can make an old man’s dick unnaturally hard, drugs that will keep a dude from going bald, drugs that keep old men from having to embarrass themselves by needing to drain the liz’ every 10 minutes, and so on. And yet, Western medicine is unable to do something about an incredibly annoying and often painful condition that affects half of the population of this planet? Really?
Yeah, you can take birth control for months straight and not have a period (I’ve been doing this for years), but that’s merely a side effect that was never the intention of the makers of the pill, and leaves the women whose bodies do not tolerate birth control or who cannot afford pills in the first place with no options to stop aunt flo’s monthly visits. Why haven’t researchers come up with something that stops the cycle altogether when a woman has no need for it, and is affordable and within reach for all women?
What you want is called endometrial ablation. They basically nuke your lady parts with a James Bond style laser.
A good friend of mine had the procedure, and she swears by it. Admittedly, she was done having kids and had a couple other issues that made it necessary, but she couldn’t be happier with the results. No more periods. None.
The biological imperative to reproduce is a strong one, ladies. No need to get pissed at the boys for having Viagra. Just do your research. We live in an age where if you can dream it, there’s a laser that will do it.
Remember, you’re battling nature here. That bitch knows how to put up a fight.
Why can’t birth control be free?
I am an intelligent, self supported adult who hates children. Recently, the price of my Nuvaring was jacked up so high that even with insurance, the copay is is like a monthly kidney punch. I can’t find a clinic who will tie my tubes under my insurance- if I could, I’d be sealed off in a heartbeat. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough- but that’s my point. It shouldn’t BE a hassle to prevent pregnancy. I’ve been in a relationship for a few years, and we don’t WANT to use condoms- both because we just don’t like them and we’d go through them like tic tacs if we did begrudgingly wrap the wang each and every time. I think that birth control that people might actually WANT to use should be free- considering that the world is grossly overpopulated and that 90% of the breeders out there shouldn’t be allowed to procreate in the first place.
Fuck, it’s ridiculous. I’m sure if I lobotomized myself and started popping out brats, the government would shell out all kinds of resources to help me support them- why can’t they make it easier to prevent them? Is it really so expensive to mass produce a generic version of the pill?
Any advice on the easiest method of sterilization for a lower middle class individual with health insurance?
Have you looked into the Essure procedure? It’s less expensive, non-surgical, and permanent. Theoretically, it’s also covered by your insurance.
Check out their website. Find a doctor who’ll pair up with your coverage and work with you to keep costs low.
Never be afraid to haggle with your insurance company. It’s their job to automatically say no, but if you end up speaking to actual human beings who understand math, ask them to add up the costs to the company for your birth control regimen over the next five years.
Better yet, ask them what their average costs are for pre-natal care these days. Show them it makes sense to drop a little up-front coin on something like this.
Good luck, and don’t let the hassle grind you down.
(Oh, and have you gone to Planned Parenthood? If you wanna stick with Nuvaring or the pill, word on the street is they give away free shit to those who qualify.)
Of course you are white. Seriously. You wouldn’t have such an overstated trendy little thing for Obama’s dick if you weren’t. I love you, but seriously.
Whoever wrote this, I love you too. I’m so glad there are people like you out there getting the joke.
I almost started taking this shit seriously for a second, and then you went and cracked me up.
Thank you. I needed that.