Ok. So I run a blog with a friend of mine and we’re both really liking it. We’ve been slowly rising number wise and we’re finally getting somewhat of a fan base. The problem is that I do all the work. She likes to sit back, take credit and not do anything at all. I have to come up with all our posts and sometimes even figure out her half of some of them (it’s some what of a favorite things to buy, favorite food brands, etc). It really annoys me because she likes to say she writes for it, is a big part of it, etc. I mostly just want to be like “bitch you don’t do shit!” but is that too harsh? How should I go about this?

Get a lawyer. Like, yesterday.

I don’t care if you’re fooling around in your dorm room and it’s all just for fun. You’ve entered into a partnership on a creative endeavor, and you need to slap together some paperwork.

Remember, you’re creating intellectual property with complex underlying rights. Shit gets really messy when writing partners wake up one morning hating each other, and that happens all the time.

The second your thing starts making money disputes like yours go nuclear, and unless you have a clear and well-defined collaboration agreement, you’re pretty much fucked.

Even if it’s just a hobby, take what you do seriously. Be an adult about it. It’s time to make your shit official. If you can’t afford a lawyer, no big deal. Use common sense and Google it yourself. There are plenty of sample collaboration agreements that you can pull from to make your own.

Ultimately, it’s less about the fine print and more about you both sitting down and answering the tough questions about what you’re doing and why.

Come up with a formal arrangement, and then make sure there are contractual consequences for her not holding up her end of the deal. At the end of the day, this will probably be the best way to light a fire under her ass.

Good luck.

Just over a year ago I decided it was important to move to a new country to live with my boyfriend, learn his language, and get married. And it was, because the marriage is great and we’re happy together.

Professionally, however, I had few career options in his country because I was learning the language. We’re now in yet another (English-speaking) country where he found a job, but I’ve been out of grad school for almost two years now and have only a teeny amount of experience in my field. I worry that that experience is becoming irrelevant the more time passes. I think not being from here counts against me when I’m applying for jobs. Just to pay bills I’m now applying for some pretty menial stuff, and I went to grad school just to avoid this situation.

I feel like a loser and it’s hard to tell my husband without it sounding like I’m blaming him (I DO NOT BLAME HIM). Also, feeling like a loser makes it pretty hard to sell yourself in an interview. I don’t know how to make myself feel confident again.

You’re not a loser. You’re a citizen of the world with a graduate degree and a happy marriage. You’re leading a charmed life, even if it doesn’t feel that way.

What this boils down to is that you made a choice a few years ago to put your relationship ahead of your career, and these are the breaks. Now you’re whining a little bit because you can’t have your cake and eat it too. That’s fine. I understand the frustration you’re feeling, but all this loser talk has got to go.

Now it’s time for you to make another choice. Are you going to have kids, or are you going to pursue your career? That’s the only question that matters. It’s what every employer wants to know.

You say being international counts against you when you’re applying for jobs. Nope. That shit usually helps. What counts against you is being a married woman in her prime baby-making years. Every employer assumes you’re only good for a few seasons before you start squirting out dependents, and then they’re stuck with an employee who costs twice as much but is only around for half the time.

If you want a career instead of a job, you’ve got to let them know that you won’t be having kids for at least five years, and that you’re still very passionate about your chosen field. The way to sell yourself is that they’re getting a deal if they hire you. They’re getting an employee with a grad degree for the price of an undergrad, with the understanding that you’ll be advancing in the company.

Enough with all this loser talk. You’re brave and smart and strong. You moved to a country where you didn’t know the language for the man you loved, which actually makes you kind of a bad ass. Let your prospective employers see that side of you. Let them know how far you’re willing to go when you’re passionate.

Hell, with a narrative like that, I’d hire you.

My bf wants a open relationship and Im not too into that sorta thing but I love him too much to let him go, so should I just let him get his way.

Wow. No. Where’s your fucking dignity?

If you don’t want to fuck other people, and you don’t want him to fuck other people, then you shouldn’t be in an open relationship. He either respects you enough not to cheat, or you respect yourself enough to break up with him.

Opening a relationship should never be about letting someone “get his way.” It should be a mutual thing, something you explore together. Having sex with other people as a couple should celebrate your couplehood. If it’s done properly, it will bring you two closer.

That’s not what he wants. He just wants to fuck other people. He’s a manipulative asshole who’s already checked out of the relationship but is too weak to just break up with you.

Sorry, but it’s probably best if you prepare yourself for the inevitable.

Better luck with your next guy.

I doubt that you are a coke whore from LA. You are probably a 15 year old girl who sits at home, virgin obviously, and never touched drugs in your life, and answers others problems. Prove me wrong.

If a drug-free, never-been-fucked, fifteen year old girl could write this shit, wouldn’t that be more impressive?

I love getting mail from my haters, but sometimes I wish they brought a little bit more to the table. Then again, I suppose if they had a sense of humor to begin with, they’d be in on the joke.

I’m so tired of being wrong all the time. I literally can not do a single thing without my boyfriend telling me I did it wrong, or saying that I shouldn’t have, or getting annoyed with me for no reason. I shower him with affection! I buy him things all the time, I put out regularly, and I clean up around the house. He’s stressed out because of money issues right now but there’s a fine line between acting out of stress and acting like an asshole. I can’t tell him that he’s getting on my last nerve because it blows up into a ridiculous fight that I would rather shoot myself than endure. What can I do to make him realize that he’s making me feel like a worthless pile of shit?

He’s not making you feel like a worthless pile of shit. You are.

Sure, he’s acting like an asshole, but you’re the one who puts up with him, and you’re the one who gives him power over your self worth.

The very statement that “I’m so tired of being wrong all the time” is a symptom of the core problem. You’re accepting the premise that you are, in fact, wrong. Instead, what you should be saying is “I’m so tired of my boyfriend being a condescending prick all the time.”

I could tell you to just break up with him and move on, but that wouldn’t address the underlying issue you have with giving men power over your emotional and psychological state.

You’ve gotta stop doing that. Don’t put up with his shit. Recognize that his behavior is unacceptable and be strong enough to simply not tolerate it. It’s draw-a-line-in-the-sand time.

Now, I’m not suggesting that you start fighting him about everything. Quite the opposite, actually. You don’t want to fight, he knows that, and he uses it against you when you stand up for yourself. Well, that kind of bullying is unacceptable behavior too.

You don’t have to engage in the fighting. After all, this isn’t about who can scream the loudest. It’s about who has the stronger will. Up to now, it’s been him. No more. Simply leave the room. Get cold and rational on his ass. Trust me, when he can’t push your buttons anymore, it’ll scare him to death.

Once you start enforcing your will and stand up for yourself, two things will happen. He’ll start respecting you, and you’ll start respecting yourself.

At that point, if there’s a problem you won’t need someone like me to tell you to break up with him. You’ll have already done it.