I’ve never been in love so I’m sure there’s something I’m missing, but I just don’t understand. What is the point of staying in a relationship where you’re miserable 85% of the time? What’s so special about that 15% that makes everything else worth it? Am I right in thinking it’s really just fear of change and instability?
Where are you getting your numbers? Because if you’re surrounded by people in relationships composed of 85% misery, that speaks volumes about your potential for any kind of emotional well-being.
To be clear, the relationships you’re referring to are very unhealthy and should not be considered either normal or desirable. Misery should not be the resting state of any relationship, much less its defining characteristic.
If your friends are in relationships where they’re 85% miserable, you should distance yourself from their drama — don’t participate, and certainly don’t emulate. If your parents are the ones who are 85% miserable, you’re a little bit more fucked, but at the very least, you can start framing your parents in terms of how not to be in a relationship.
This isn’t about whether you’ve been in love. It’s about whether you’ve had any healthy relationship models in your life.