What if I can’t find a purpose? I could go on describing my struggles and obstacles (or just laziness) in doing so but it really boils down to one thing: I can’t figure it out, and I don’t know how. I feel like a little bitch for being so lost and needy,and a lot of my misfortune is indirectly my fault, I will admit that, but it feels like I’m just not interested enough, or capable enough for anything. I know, I need to work hard, do everything and anything, but with pressure from people to succeed comes expectation and then I just want to quit. Even financially I’m screwed, personally, and in the bigger sense, considering half of my classes were canceled. I just want a fucking purpose to be inspired by, to strive for, to really want; a realistic goal. I’m not even re-reading this, I want to be as honest with myself (and you) as possible because I want to fix it.

If you can’t find a purpose, then you’ll be forever cursed. You’ll be parched of thirst and unable to quench it. You’ll be starving to death and never die. You’ll feel nothing. Not the wind on your face, nor the spray of the sea — no, wait. I’m sorry. That’s from a fucking Disney movie.

You live in a spoiled candy bubble if you think getting screwed “in the bigger sense” is having half your classes canceled.

Maybe you should quit whining and grow the fuck up.

Better yet, marry rich and squirt out a couple of kids. That should keep you distracted in a vague, though not altogether unpleasant sort of way. Then you can check back with me with the same silly question in a couple of decades when you’re ready for a mid-life crisis.

just wondering::: what is the best way to marry into LA? canadian girl needing citizenship. BADLY. i love LA more than any place i have ever been in my life, and my boyfriend, who lives there, probably wont do it for a few years. at least. i want to be there now. helllp!

Who needs citizenship? Just hop on a plane already.

There are three million illegal immigrants in California. What’s one more Canadian girl with an LA boyfriend?

Chinga la migra!

How do you feel about having sex while menstruating? First time hook up, second/third, girlfriend? From a guys perspective, if u didnt realize before digging in, it doesnt really matter, i guess. At least it hasn’t stopped me.

I keep a set of red towels in my linen closet.

Enough said.

So not so long ago I had no car, no job and no social life, and I was depressed as fuck. I pretty much spent all of my time eating, sleeping, masturbating and watching TV. I was depressed as fuck with this routine. I put my head down and motivated myself, I cleaned out my apartment, I got a job, after a few months I got a car and I back in contact with my friends. At first it took large amounts of effort to act normal and act happy, to motivate myself and whatnot. I thought this would pass as success rolled in. Once I had the car to stop using spitfuck public tranceport, once I was earning money, once I’d been to a few get togethers, once I wasn’t living in a pig sty, it’d be easier. I’d be happier. But I’m still not. So because I respect your opinion more than Oprah’s or Dr. Phils’, I’m asking you: Is this life? Is this it? Everyone going around pretending to be happy and forcing themselves to deal with routine while secretly they wonder what the fuck they’re doing and why they should care? Or are other people genuinely excited about finding cheap gas or the time they save with 2 in 1 shampoo and all of that shit? Because I really just can’t seem to force myself to give a shit about any of it.

Getting off your ass is a good start, but nobody said jumping on the hamster wheel was supposed to make you happy. Success hasn’t rolled in, just basic fucking survival.

Congratulations on moving up a rung on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, but you’ve still got a long way to go before you find your happy place.

Now comes the tricky part. Stop searching for meaning and start looking for purpose. Life may be meaningless, but meaning is not the same thing as purpose.

It doesn’t matter how big or small — scale is unimportant, only intensity.

Happiness isn’t tied to your car, your job, or your social life. It’s tied to your purpose, and you don’t have one.

Go find a purpose.

What is the best advice you have ever been given?

Always do what makes for a better story.

I’m 21 years old and I haven’t had sex since my high school prom. If you want to skip the mental math that’s over 3 years. I’ve only ever slept with one person and I’ve just never been very confident sexually. Despite being pretty cute and having plenty of opportunities to get laid, I’ve never followed through. It’s not that I don’t want to have sex, it’s just got to a point where I feel like it’s been so long that I don’t even know how to get out there and do it. I’m 21 and it’s just sort of expected that I know what I’m doing, and I don’t. Being sooo inexperienced is keeping me from getting what I want. What do I do?

You’re overthinking it. Relax. Take a xanax. Make him put on a condom, and then insert tab A into slot B. As long as it feels good, you’re doing it right. It’s really not all that complicated.

Take solace in the fact that almost nobody knows what they’re doing at twenty-one. They all act like they do, but everyone outside of the porn industry is still pretty much a beginner.

So I was watching TV this afternoon, and this show had a segment on dating. Apparently saying just three words can get you any guy. “Your so hot”. They did a social experiemnt and everything, and it seemed quite convincing. What do you think?

It was a dating segment on the Tyra Show, not a clinical trial in behavioral psychology. Please stop letting daytime television convince you of things.

There are no magic words. We laugh at guys all the time for using cheesy pick-up lines. Why would you think it’s a good idea for us to start?

The phrase “you’re so hot” might focus the message for a particularly oblivious douchebag, but you should be able to communicate your interest with body language alone. You don’t even have to speak English if you know how to widen your eyes and bite your lip at just the right moment.

So I was in a relationship for about a year. I had stuck by his side through his depression, with him cheating twice while we were together and then putting up with his drug abuse. I even lost my virginity to this guy. After it all, he broke up with me because I was too negative and what not but for the 5 months we’ve been apart, he’s told me he still loves me and that he misses me but those are once in a blue moon comments from him. He ignores me one minute then the next he’s confessing his love. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him and that I’ll always be here for him unlike any other person in his life but I just don’t know anymore. What should I do, just give up on him or hold on?

Hold on to him? Holy fucking Twilight novel, are you retarded? Get rid of him — immediately and permanently.

You’re not giving up on him or breaking some sacred promise or any other melodramatic bullshit. He’s a depressed, drug-addicted cheater who just wants to fuck you a few more times, and you’re a moron for sticking around.

Is it worth it if attaining your dream job means sacrificing the opportunity to save the relationship with the person you love?

Subtext: Rocky relationship where there is intense love for each other still. Took some time off for ourselves. I moved abroad while he stayed in the states. I was just offered a job where I could make big money, but that would mean living here permanently, ergo not going back to re start the relationship. I’m split.

Any advice?

Take your dream job. Also, stop watching romantic comedies.

I say that because you strike me as the type who’s cooked up some melodramatic airport fantasy where he barrels through security just moments before you board an international flight so he can beg you to spend the rest of your lives together.

Seriously, stop that.

Remember, you left the fucking country to take a break from this guy. At this point, you’re idealizing whatever tiny amount of relationship potential there might be left.

If you give up your dream job for the highly unlikely chance that round two will be any less rocky, I promise you will resent him the moment the shine comes off the apple. (And don’t kid yourself, honey. The shine always comes off the apple.)

I don’t mean to sound like Scrooge McFuck over here, but take the cash. I don’t care how much you think you love him. Dream jobs are incredibly rare these days. Rocky relationships with dubious salvage potential are a dime a dozen.