Why is it cool when Beyoncé calls her man daddy but grounds for the asker to break up?

Okay, numnard. Let me explain that scenario using small words so you’ll understand:

Man asks woman to do something in bed she finds creepy and degrading. Woman refuses. Instead of respecting her sexual boundaries, man accuses woman of being judgmental and close minded.

Do you see it now? Probably not, because like most assholes, you feel entitled to your sexual kinks, regardless of how they make your partner feel.

My answer wasn’t a response to a guy asking to be called “daddy” during sex. It was a response to a guy being a disrespectful douchebag when he didn’t get what he wanted.

Why are people so suspicious of my spontaneous generosity? I seriously have mastered the art of generosity as far as I can tell. Zero strings. People are so suspicious. I am trying so hard to ghandi this fucking world into a kind and thoughtful place, but everyone looks at me like I’m insane…maybe i am…but being generous isn’t why or even how.

Dude. You’re creepy. Fuck off with your generosity.

People have every right to be suspicious of you, and they should be, because your behavior obviously violates their boundaries. You think there are zero strings with whatever weird shit you’re doing, but really, you’re imposing yourself on others. That’s not cool.

You don’t get to circumvent social conventions just because you think you’re well intentioned. If you really were being kind and thoughtful, you’d learn how to behave without making people suspicious.

You haven’t mastered the art of generosity. You’re just a creep trying to justify being creepy.

Hi! Firstly, I’m a huge fan and faithful reader. I’m hoping you can help me with a slightly odd moral dilemma…

I’m an escort and recently saw a very wealthy client who is easily the the most unabashed racist I’ve ever met. I’m white, and he must have thought he was in friendly company because he used every single racial slur I’ve ever encountered and then some. It was the most disgusting display of racism I’ve ever seen in person. He also uses the promise of money for humiliating power-plays with his ex-wife, children and any friends he hasn’t managed to drive away. Just thinking about this smug prick makes my blood boil. He’s a narcissistic bastard with no obvious redeeming qualities. He also doesn’t approve of charity – I was treated to a lovely speech about how people should help themselves and that he doesn’t believe in ’taking more than his fair share.’ He also made jokes about physically abusing the homeless. Anyway, I kept my mouth shut for a few hours and managed to relieve him of a couple of grand.

Now my question – he spent a lot of time gloating about his 30+ years of rampant tax evasion. I know enough accurate details about this prick to make an anonymous report to the tax office. He sees escorts on a regular basis and I’m certain he isn’t usually more discreet. What’s more, I’m sure there are many people in this man’s life who would be delighted to see the government take a closer look at his finances. I don’t think there’s any way for this to be traced back to me. He has no dependents – his ex-wife receives no alimony and his children are financially independent. Another thing to consider is that he has a micro-penis – under 1 inch when fully erect. So he does have to live with that.

I’m conflicted. Is going through life with a ridiculously tiny dick punishment enough? What do you think, Coquette? Should I give karma a helping hand or just let it be?

By the way, I know this sounds like fiction but I swear it’s 100% accurate. Thanks for your help!

Just let it be.

This isn’t really a moral dilemma. This man sounds like a horrible person, but he is also your client. You voluntarily entered into a business relationship with him, and loathsome as he may be, he hasn’t cheated you or violated the terms of your business relationship in any way.

You are under no obligation to keep him as a client, and you should feel free to terminate the relationship if putting up with his grotesque behavior isn’t worth it, but to anonymously report him to the tax office is vindictive and disproportional.

That’s not to say he doesn’t deserve it, but that isn’t the point. He may have offended you, but he hasn’t wronged you, and I know you’re aware of the difference.

Have some integrity. As repulsive as a man may be, don’t fuck with him unless he fucks with you. This isn’t about his karma. It’s about yours.

it turns out a friend of some of my friends won’t take any form of no as an answer from women when he’s blackout drunk besides literal punches to the face. he hasn’t raped anybody that i know of, but he does extended following, aggressive cornering, unwanted touching, turning rejection into flirting, and he forced my friend to make out with him until she could get away. how do i negotiate talking to him about his behavior and continuing to operate within a group of friends that he’s nonnegotiably part of?

Normally I prefer not to respond to submissions this sloppy, but your underlying question is too important to ignore. What you’re asking is how to deal with a person in your sphere of friends who becomes inappropriately sexual and physically aggressive when he’s intoxicated.

If I was in your shoes, I’d first build a coalition within the group. I would speak individually to each friend I knew would support me, and I’d get them to agree that the guy’s behavior is inappropriate and should no longer be tolerated.

Spread the responsibility for monitoring his behavior around to as many people in your group of friends as possible. Make sure they understand that it’s a problem that needs correcting, and that it’s okay for them to actually do something to correct it.

As for talking directly to the guy, don’t wait until he’s drunk and acting up before you have the discussion with him. Sit him down when he’s sober and let him know that he can’t continue to behave that way. Shoot him straight. Tell him exactly what he’s done wrong and why he can’t continue behaving that way.

After you’ve had the talk with him, if he continues acting inappropriately, that’s when you call him out in front of the group. Use shame as your tool to alter his behavior when he’s drunk.

While discussing your lack of posts in the last week with a friend I used the phrase “Where is that bitch?” Being two adult males I question whether that was an appropriate term to use. I feel like like two grown men using that phrase is not ok even without malice or ill will other than the want for more posts. Too sensitive?

I’ll allow it. Bitch.

What is emotional currency?

Emotional currency is any medium of exchange used for the transmission of affective states of consciousness between two or more people.

Pretty much anything can be used as emotional currency — smiles, apologies, orgasms, even actual fucking money.

One of the most fundamental characteristics of a person is what they use as emotional currency, and interpersonal compatibility is largely determined by how two people exchange emotional currency.

I met a guy at a show in Boston last week. This week, he invited me to Vegas for a weekend. I’m into him, work doesn’t start for me until mid-January, and I can always crash at a friend’s place there if things go sour. Am I an insane crazy person for wanting to do this?

If I’m the one you’re asking for permission, then you obviously wanna do it. Go. Have fun. Get laid. Crazy shit like this is the reason Vegas exists. Really, it’s not that big a deal.

Just keep your head screwed on. Make sure you’ve got a reliable friend who knows to check in with you, and keep her updated with your details (room numbers, names of people you’re with, etc.)

My parents are miserable people with no substance. They see my “best interest” as financial security rather than actual happiness. I go to college next year, and they refuse to pay for me unless I major in business, because it’s “stable”. What do I do? I know what I love, and I have passion, but I don’t have the money to defy my parents and pursue it.

Shut the fuck up and enjoy your complimentary college education, you disrespectful, shortsighted little twat. Major in business, minor or double major in whatever else you want, and then go spend the rest of your ungrateful existence following your bullshit passions until you realize how big of an asshole you were for putting quotation marks around the word stable.

My girlfriend always tells me that I don’t pay enough attention to her or I don’t hold her hand often enough and things like that, but I obviously try my hardest to give her attention. It doesn’t really help that she and one of my pretty good friends basically flirt with each other all the time. Something else that also doesn’t help is that she constantly claims that she feels threatened by her best friend who also happens to be my friend that I kissed at a party almost a year ago, before we were even dating. I haven’t done a thing with her since then, but my girlfriend still claims that she feels threatened. How can I make her feel like she gets enough attention so she won’t flirt with my friend and feel threatened by her friend?

Oh, you adorable little teenager. (You’d better be a fucking teenager.) Here are a few things you should learn early:

1. You are not responsible for your girlfriend feeling threatened by her best friend. That’s not about you, even if you kissed her once. Just stay out of it.

2. Notice when your girlfriend wants you to hold her hand. Is it in front of other people, or is it in private when it’s just the two of you? Those are two completely different needs on her part.

3. No amount of attention will change the content of your girlfriend’s character. If she’s the type to flirt with other dudes or talk shit about her best friend to you, that’s not going to change just because you hold her hand a lot.

4. The dude who flirts with your girlfriend all the time? He’s not your friend.

5. Don’t be surprised when this girl suddenly breaks up with you, and don’t wander around asking her or her friends why she ended things. It won’t matter why, and the coolest thing you could possibly do is not give a shit.

Fuck whoever made the last comment. But seriously, have you heard anything back from the original poster? I was just wondering how things were going. Hope she gives them hell.

Yes, I communicated with her over the holiday. I can’t provide any details except to say that she’s gotten in touch with the right people, and she’s moving forward exactly as she should.

This won’t be the last you’ll hear of her situation.