I am constantly on the knife’s edge about giving my boyfriend oral. Should I? Shouldn’t I? I’ve never done it before. It feels silly when the question rolls around in my head, but the subject makes me scared, nervous, and slightly dirty. Society has portrayed it as an act that has instant gratification for the male (or female), and something that is reserved for those who are free with themselves, or those deeply in love.

It might be good to mention that I am not a sexual being. Or very outgoing. I don’t know what to do with myself, and sex makes me feel awkward. Not to mention I’ve never had an orgasm, which in part makes me feel obligated not to do it until he gets me there.

I guess I am just scared that I will not be respected as much. I’ve told myself I’ll wait until we’re more invested in each other, emotionally, and attached.

(This might read like I’m 16, but I’m not. Full 20 years.)

Scared, nervous, and slightly dirty are acceptable if not mildly annoying rookie emotions when it comes to your first blowjob, but all the anxiety about whether he’ll respect you as much is utter bullshit.

Quite frankly, I don’t respect you for thinking like that. It’s pathetic and weak.

Suck cock. Don’t suck cock. It’s entirely up to you. Either way, don’t ever allow yourself to be slut shamed, and sure as fuck don’t shame yourself.

On a separate note, your boyfriend isn’t responsible for your orgasm. You are.

Get your own damn self there.

But don’t you think that political officials should be held to a higher standard? They know when they take their jobs that their moves, personal and political, will be in the spotlight. The same goes for athletes, actors, etc. It’s practically part of the job description.

Fuck no. Only idiots hold athletes, actors, and politicians to a higher standard. That kind of thinking is what creates paparazzi and congressional hearings on major league baseball.

Having high standards is one thing, but holding anyone to a higher standard than you would hold yourself is a fundamental exercise in hypocrisy.

Talk me through this Weiner thing, Coke Talk. Why? Why? Whyyyyyy? He was our Lancelot.

Really? Lancelot fucked Guinevere behind King Arthur’s back. All the congressman did was tweet a few pics of his schwanz.

Sure, it’s a total dumb fuck thing to have done, but as far as beltway scandals go, it barely moves the needle on the political shitbag-o-meter.

Anthony Weiner is still one of the good guys. He may be a total asshole, but so what? He’s out there fighting the good fight and pissing off all the right people.

I haven’t lost an ounce of respect for the man, nor should anyone else who’s ever sent a down and dirty cell phone pic.

Let’s not be hypocrites, people.

Ok, I’m bisexual and I just can’t find the words to tell my mom. Almost everyone expects me to be gay, but they don’t quite know yet. I just feel uncomfortable not telling my family and I just simply can’t find the words to break it down and tell them. Should I fear about what they will say or do? If they don’t accept it should I feel disowned or bad with myself?

I’m sorry, but when did become your family’s business to know who all you’re fucking? You are not obligated to tell anyone about your sex life. It’s not about keeping secrets. It’s about personal fucking privacy. Do you expect your parents to give you dirty details about all the sex they’re having? Fuck no. Likewise, you should feel free to shut the fuck up about your sexuality.

It’s different if you’re in a loving relationship and you want to introduce that person to your folks, but until that day comes, chill the fuck out.

When has it ever been appropriate to say “tits” to a woman and even more so when she’s a young woman seeking advice on such a sensitive subject?

It’s appropriate right after you take that stick out of your ass, my dear.

(I love all my new readers from The Daily. They’re adorable.)

Sorry, Coquette! Although I agree with your advice, I believe you left an important point out: Everyone needs to take responsibility for their own actions.  What’s a senior in high school doing going out for dinner by herself with a staff member 15 years older than she anyway Poor judgment on her part.

Sorry, bitch! There’s no slut shaming allowed in my house. I’m all for personal responsibility, but how dare you infer that this poor girl should expect inappropriate behavior from male mentors?

Your kind of thinking is what leads to virginity tests by religious police.

The poor judgment is all yours.

You keep saying that people shouldn’t refer to themselves as artists. One time you said that they should call themselves either painters, singers, actors or whatever. But what about people like me who are painters, sculptors, installation artists, photographers and designers all at once? I’d rather just call myself an artist rather than that entire list each and every time someone asks what I do.

Whatever, dude. If you were honest, you’d just call yourself a student.

I’m bi, she’s bi.  Her and her boyfriend have an open relationship. I have a simultaneous crush on her, and on her boyfriend. Sounds perfect… Thing is, they’re some of my closest friends. And I’m a virgin. I should find someone else to crush on, right?

Maybe. Maybe not. It really depends on whether they both wanna fuck you. Just because they’re some of your closest friends doesn’t mean they wanna get it on. Maybe they do and you’re all emotionally mature enough to handle it. Maybe they don’t and shit gets awkward. Who knows?

Whatever you do, don’t fuck them separately. Either have a his-and-hers sampler platter threesome to kick off your sex life, or look somewhere else entirely to lose your virginity. Trust me on this. Open relationship or not, the fact that you’re all good friends and that your virginity is in the mix will throw your relationships off balance if you don’t do it all together.

This is a tricky maneuver for a first timer. If you fuck it up, you could very well lose two good friends instead of your virginity. Do it. Don’t do it. It’s entirely up to you. Just know the risks and proceed with caution.