Alright, I graduate from my undergrad program in about 28 hours. I have no plans after (quiver…) Basically I work a retail job, have no idea what it’s like to have additional free time since I worked my ass off in school, both to pay the bills and get a decent GPA. Now my friends from Florida are touring my area, in towns where I have friends, all next month and I could get in the van with them. I have no savings, no plan, no boyfriend. Should I quit my job and just say fuck it for a month?

Absolutely.

This guy I’m seeing won’t have sex with me for religious reasons but requests to cum on my face while pouring champagne. No shit. Serial killer?

Yeah, this guy seems deeply in touch with his lord and savior.

I love how it’s perfectly acceptable for him to blow a load in your face like you’re a porn star he just bought bottle service, but the omniscient creator of the universe would suddenly have a problem if you two engaged in even the slightest bit of premarital vaginal intercourse.

Ugh, that’s so fucking creepy. Seriously, though. Don’t date people who bring religion into the bedroom. Just don’t.

We’re stuck in a suburban business hotel outside of Dallas, and our car won’t turn on, so we can’t even go get weed or beer. The cable was nice for the first couple of days but now I’m starting to feel the effects of cabin fever. How should we wait out the rest of the ice storm with poise, grace, and sanity?

Well, you could rent out one of the hotel conference rooms and invite everyone on your floor to a business casual ice storm orgy.

Or, you could download the Uber app and get a private driver to take you around the frozen tundra of Dallas to score weed and beer.

Or both.

There’s a hot and successful guy who keeps asking me out and I am unable to utter the words “I’m flattered but I have a boyfriend” so I just keep dodging him and I’m a terrible person and I just wanted to tell someone so there you go.

Tell your boyfriend. Seriously. Tell him.

You don’t have to be all serious about it. That kind of shit can be hilarious if you know how to spin it. Besides, if you aren’t comfortable enough in your relationship that you can talk to your boyfriend about other dudes throwing game at you, then what the fuck are you doing with your life?

Fuck it. Go deep or go home.

My boyfriend and I are poly and we recently went to a sex club that we like.  I had a great time, but at the end of the night when I overheard him asking the woman he’d been involved with if he could “call her sometime,” I found myself getting really upset.  I would be fine with that in any other context, but I had viewed this as a place where we went in, had fun, and got out.  He feels like we should be able to stay in contact with people we meet there because it’s hard to find poly people out in the world, but this place is teaming with them.  I think that makes sense, but it still makes me feel uncomfortable for some reason that I can’t fully identify.  Part of me wants to work through these feelings and try to be ok with staying in contact with people we meet there, and part of me just wants to say “I’m uncomfortable with it and so we can’t do that.”  What do you think?

Your issue isn’t that your boyfriend asked for this woman’s number. Your issue is that he didn’t check with you first. That’s why it’s bugging you.

He assumed you’d be cool with him swapping contact info, and you probably would have been, but he never explicitly asked to see how you felt about it, and now it’s turned into a thing.

Don’t worry. Shit like this is easy to fix. You just have to make a few minor adjustments to your sex club protocol. The couples that I’ve seen handle this the best are the ones who always involve each other in the decision to remain in contact with a play friend. They do it together.

If you’re there as as couple, then at the very least, your boyfriend should know to get your explicit permission before he asks to stay in contact with someone. Same rules apply to you. You shouldn’t give a dude your number without checking in with your boyfriend first.

Of course, just because one of you asks doesn’t mean the other has to say yes. If either of you get a bad vibes, you should both feel free to say no. It’s perfectly okay to stay in contact with people you meet at sex clubs, but there’s also nothing wrong with being picky about it.

Was Katy Perry’s AMA performance racist? Break it down for me, Coke.

Her performance was most certainly culturally appropriative — that much is obvious, but whether that appropriation rises to the level of racism depends on how you frame it.

If she had come out in blackface or wearing some sexed-up Pocahontas outfit and done the same type of performance using either African-American or Native-American cultural signifiers, then it’s an easy yes. As a rich, white American celebrity, that shit would have been racist.

It’s a little tougher to make the same call when it comes to Japanese culture, because there isn’t the same history of oppression that makes appropriation so inherently disrespectful. Then again, given America’s tumultuous relationship with the Japanese (let’s not forget those atomic bombs and internment camps), it’s not an impossible argument to make.

Again, it’s all in how you frame it. Is this an example of a Westerner cartoonishly lampooning an Eastern culture? Yep, it definitely looks that way. She didn’t have malice in her heart when she loaded up her performance with Japanese cultural signifiers, but that’s not really an excuse. She wasn’t intentionally trying to be disrespectful, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t a big fat stupid example of Ugly-Americanism writ large at the American Music Awards.

The problem with Katy Perry is that she should have known better. Normally when some American idiot gets obsessed with Japanese culture, she just annoys her high-school friends with a bunch of Hello Kitty nonsense until she grows out of it. Unfortunately, Katy Perry is a fucking superstar, so when she gets obsessed with kimonos and Geishas, dumb shit like this happens.

Ultimately, I’ll be curious to find out how actual Japanese people respond it. I’m comfortable calling Katy Perry’s performance a quintessential case of insensitive cultural appropriation, but that doesn’t automatically mean racism.

Whether it’s racist is for the Japanese to decide, and I honestly couldn’t tell you if they’ll embrace it, reject it, or even give a shit in the first place.

Reading your blog got me out of bed just now. It even got me a roll of baking paper and a black texta and writing an outline for the next 7 years. An outline that ended with, “Do you really want to get to the end of your life and think, well that turned out exactly how I thought it would?” Just in case I get too caged again.

I pulled up the blinds and threw open the window. The tiny crystal my brother gave me is flicking tiny rainbows onto my walls.

Thank you.

You’re welcome.

Don’t worry. Your life won’t turn out how you think it will, but it’s nice to have a few goals on a roll of parchment.

If your tiny crystal is flicking rainbows, that means you’re somewhere on the other side of the world. Give the daylight my regards.

Your inspiration is my insomnia.