I was given the “money or fame” question and I answered “money” in a heartbeat. My friends were a little surprised, and gave me this lecture about how money can’t buy happiness. Am I greedy? Or just a shy person who wants to buy a hover car in the future? Is there *really* no answer to that question, or is there one?
Your friends are idiots. Not only can money buy happiness, but anyone who wishes for fame is a fucking asshole.
We’re in our early 30s and have been together for 2.5 years. When it’s good, it’s really good – we’re always laughing, talk about the future, getting married, planning a life together. But when it’s bad, it’s to the point of screaming and tears and lately, this happens on a weekly or every other week basis. How do you know whether to keep trying to make the relationship work or call it quits? I know everyone says relationships take work but how much work is too much?
You two are the reason couples counseling was invented. Find a professional, go sit down together, and develop some fresh conflict resolution and anger management skills.
That shit really works.
How can I deal with the anger/frustration that Ann Coulter fills me with? Its not even when she opens her mouth to speak, its just her, she radiates hatred.
I like to think of Ann Coulter as an evil Jim Henson puppet. (I’m pretty sure she was originally a Skeksis from The Dark Crystal.)
Point is, it’s a lot easier to deal with her persona when you consider it to be a grotesque piece of fiction, rather than think of her as a black-hearted human being made entirely of cancer and bile.
I usually don’t recommend dehumanizing one’s enemies, but in her case I make an exception, because I really don’t want to have to manufacture pity for someone that consistently awful.
Harry Styles is in L.A. I think you should fuck him.
Please. He hasn’t even graduated from Hogwarts. Call me in a decade when he hits his Timberlake phase.
I’m a 20-year-old atheist who wants to be more spiritual. What do I do?
Study philosophy, psychology, and comparative religion. Don’t get involved with any organization that relies on its own spiritual jargon.
Should I study fashion design, anthropology, or declare a double major?
Sure, why not? Declare a double major and make your degree twice as useless. It’s not like you have to get a job after college or anything.
I’m finishing college, and I’m trying to come to terms with the idea that college has been the most anticlimactic experience I’ve ever had.
Good. Maybe now you’ll think twice before believing in our society’s institutionalized bullshit. Enjoy your twenties.
What’s the difference between bisexual and pansexual?
A basic understanding of gender fluidity.
Is there any REASONABLE explanation as to why a national gun registry would be so terrible?
Nope.
Are you a libertarian?
Nope.
Are you a Buddhist?
Nope.
Are you more of a nihilist or an absurdist?
An absurdist is just an nihilist with a sense of humor.
I love my partner so much it kind of sucks actually. Like I can never hang out with them for long enough, and it’s hard to get out of bed in the morning because I don’t want to stop snuggling and talking with them. It bums me out. Please advise.
You are high on a drug. Act accordingly.
What do you think of the argument that the Universe is a computer simulation? Does it matter? I find that idea sort of terrifying.
The simulation hypothesis is a metaphysical toy, but hey, any time you make a little eye contact with the abyss, it’s bound to freak you out a bit.
I’ve always wanted to lose my virginity in an orgy. Is that a spectacularly bad idea?
It’s not so much a bad idea as it is an impractical one. Losing your virginity during group sex would be one thing, but an orgy implies a certain kind of frenzied anonymity that just isn’t for beginners.
Can sex be meaningless?
I hate to break it to you, but everything is meaningless.
I’ve already had some profound revelations that will stay with me for the rest of my life from two acid trips and I will be doing many more. I know a guy who is making DMT as I type this, and I want to try smoking it. What are your thoughts on the drug?
If acid is like spending an afternoon splashing around in a swimming pool, then DMT is like plunging to the bottom of the Mariana Trench and then floating back up to the surface.
Smoke in a safe, silent space with someone who’s been there before and knows what they’re doing. Go into it with an open mind and an open heart. Don’t treat it as recreation. Treat it as exploration.
How do I keep myself from feeling jaded and bitter that I’ve never found anything more than the kind of sex for sale on TV?
The whole reason they’re selling that kind of sex on TV is so they can make you feel jaded and bitter about your sexuality. That’s how they get you to buy all the other silly plastic things.
Stop letting consumer culture define sex for you. You’ve never found anything more than the kind of sex for sale on TV because you haven’t even stopped to examine for yourself what the real thing might be like.
It’s up to you to figure it out. It requires self-exploration and probably a little experimentation. You have to relentlessly ask yourself “Why?” You have to be vulnerable. You have to be willing to connect with another human being on terms that you define by and for yourself.
That’s the thrilling part, the connection. I’m not talking about love. Hell, I’m not even talking about chemistry. I’m talking about a mutual and momentary annihilation of the ego through a sexual act. It’s some spiritual shit. The sex itself is almost incidental, and that’s kind of the point.
How you go about finding it is your own thing, but you have to be willing to fucking look for it. You have to recognize that it’s an internal quest. Those are never easy, and while it might occasionally leave you confused and frustrated, at least it won’t leave you jaded and bitter.
I just saw this pop up on facebook and I’m curious about what you’d say to this:
“In all of my research on the subject of gay marriage here are the indisputable facts. All but 1 of the major religions around the globe do not condone homosexual marriage and all but 2 find it insulting. As of July 2012 that accounts for roughly 66% of the worlds population. 2/3rds of the people on the planet find it insulting for homosexuals to be married. While the homosexual, bisexual, and transgender population of the united states is estimated at only 3.8% or 9 million which out of the total population of the world comes out to be .13%. .13% wants to have their voice heard over 66%. Remember these are indisputable facts so before anyone tries to make a biased opinionated comment let me remind you that nothing in this statement, according to valid sources, is incorrect. Let math speak for this not bitter words.”
First of all, this isn’t math. This is number salad, and the idiot who tossed it together doesn’t understand statistics or the meaning of the word indisputable.
I’m willing to grant that most of the world’s major religions have fucked up opinions about gay marriage, but it takes a rambling mess of logical fallacies to conclude that 66% of the people on the planet find gay marriage insulting due to the institutionalized ignorance of their respective religions.
I have more faith in humanity than that, but hey, just for the sake of argument, let’s say that 66% of the people on the planet really are against gay marriage. So fucking what? All that means is 66% of the people are 100% wrong.
See? Simple math. So simple that the percentage of people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender doesn’t factor into this moral equation at all. For the record, it’s definitely higher than 3.8%, but even if it was .001%, it wouldn’t matter in the least.
You don’t get to deny people their civil liberties just because they’re in the minority. Everyone deserves equal rights under the law, and everyone else’s stupid religion can just step the fuck off.
Is sex overrated?
The kind for sale on TV is overrated, but the real thing is pretty fucking great.
I’ve never been broken up with. I’ve ended the few serious relationships I’ve been in. This bothers me, but I’m not sure what to do about it.
That’s not what bothers you. What bothers you is that you don’t know whether you’ve ever really been in love.
After seeing that video of amanda bynes, you still don`t think she’s trying to pull some Joaquin Phoenix ‘I’m still here” type shit? It just seemed way too theatrical and ridiculous.
Who gives a fuck? Amanda Bynes could announce tomorrow that her twitter account is a poetic contemplation of Baudrillard’s Precession of Simulacra, and I still wouldn’t be impressed with her ratchet ass bullshit.
Do you still believe in gender roles? How do you define “manhood”?
Manhood is the state of being an adult male. Anything more specific than that is a matter of culture, and I don’t particularly care to define it. As for gender roles, yes, I believe they still exist.
Should I tell my ex I cheated on him a year ago? I know I’m a piece of shit.
If it would hurt him, don’t do it. You don’t get to confess at his expense.
Why were the 90s so much better?
They weren’t. Not at all. Neither were the 70s or the 50s. Certain aspects of culture are just cyclical, and this is when a few wet chunks of the 90s will come gurgling back up the drain.
Should the federal drinking age be lowered?
Federally? There should be no drinking age.
I really like fucking gender A but am dating someone of gender B, whom I also enjoy fucking. If I exclusively commit to/marry/make adorable babies with said B-gendered person, will I always miss gender A sex?
Yep. You’ll always miss gender A sex. Eventually, you’ll also miss gender B sex with someone other than your exclusive B-gendered partner. Sorry, babe. Monogamy is twice as hard when you’re bisexual.
Do periods and commas go inside or outside quotation marks?
Inside.
Your slab serif font is cute, but a little “so two years ago.”
A passive aggressive graphic designer? Cute. Fred Armisen could play you in a Portlandia sketch or something.
I live in Boston. What’s the best way to deal with my anger?
Recognize it. Sit down next to your anger and just fucking recognize that shit, but whatever you do, don’t take it out on people. It’s there, and it’s justified, but it’s not to be inflicted on others.
WHY do people only care about the explosions that occur in America and not explosions that America causes?
It’s a phenomenon known as selective empathy made worse by a nasty case of American exceptionalism. Don’t let it make you angry, especially not right now. You would be wise not to inject your personal politics into conversations about Boston.
What the fuck do we do when the world just keeps getting scarier and scarier?
The world isn’t getting scarier. You’re just a bit scared. It’s an understandable reaction, but don’t let fear take root in your head.
I was there. I saw the explosions, and now I don’t know what to do.
You’ll be okay. The shock is starting to wear off, and you’re gonna be left with some intense emotions. Give yourself some time and allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling. It’s all perfectly normal.