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On top of Jon Hamm.
Category Archives: Advice
On beth ditto.
Beth Ditto: Love her or hate her fat ass?
Gossip has a few decent tracks. Nothing earth-shattering. All the rest is just hype and bullshit, so why should I give a fuck?
And if you insist on being a hater, at least aim it appropriately. Don’t hate Beth Ditto for flaunting her morbid obesity. Hate the industry machine that nominated her for Sexiest Woman of the Year.
On dealing with jerks.
i don’t understand why it is that the more of a jerk a guy is to a girl, the more the girl wants him. the whole “you want what you can’t have” thing baffles me. i hate it. the less attention i get, the more i want. how do i make it stop? what i’m really asking is, how do i move on?
Grow the fuck up.
On escaping the friend zone
How do I make a friend with benefits into a boyfriend? Without a miracle…
xoxo
You’ve already defined the nature of the relationship, so attempting to redefine it will be tricky if not impossible. If you succeed, you will end up with a boyfriend for a little while. If you fail, you will lose both your friend and the benefits.
It’s an awfully big risk for relatively little reward.
Why do you want to modify the relationship? Are you jealous of his romantic interests? Are you just in the mood to have a boyfriend? Are you in love?
If you really are in love, my suggestion would be that you pull back a bit and see what happens. Be open and honest about your feelings, but don’t corner him.
Let him know you’ve fallen in love, but that you recognize the nature of your friendship, and you don’t want to put him in an awkward position.
Tell him you still want to be in his life, but that it wouldn’t be fair for either of you to keep sleeping together. Go platonic on him. Nothing physical. Be strong.
If you’re lucky, he’ll realize what he’s lost and come knocking on your door as a romantic interest, and then you’re on the road to couplehood.
More than likely though, it will be a graceful exit from a doomed situation and both of you will eventually move on.
Either way, you’ll be a stronger woman who’s earned his respect.
On virginity
is being a virgin something i should be embarrassed about? i can’t wait to have sex; i have nothing against sex before marriage or hooking up one night for a tasty fuck. i’ve just never been woo’ed by anyone. and i don’t want my first time to be with someone who’ll just forget about me. am i being stupid, or is this reasonable?
Being a virgin is nothing to be embarrassed about, although using the phrase “tasty fuck” certainly is. Have sex, don’t have sex. Either way, worry less about whether you’ll be forgotten and focus more on what you’d like to remember.
On t-shirts.
What crime against fashion do you think is worth murdering someone over?
I take a firm stance against fashion police brutality, although I will admit that I’ve never found words on a t-shirt clever enough to outweigh the tacky.
On ignoring drama.
Alright. Let me start out explaining the situation. I dated this guy for 3 1/2 years. Starting when I was 15. We broke up 2 years ago. He quit harassing me to get back with him just last year. I have a boyfriend, We have been together for over a year. things are fine. Im not wanting to get back with my ex or anything shitty like that. But my exs current girlfriend always asks for my advice. I found out that he treats her the same as he treated me, that hes cheating on her. and just being a huge fucking douche. all around. Shes a cool fucking chick too. We are alot alike and we have a best friend in common. Ive never once talked bad about my ex/ her boyfriend to her. Because I feel thats not my place. But now shes been asking me what she should do. And I told her when he did this shit to me.. I straight up left him. She keeps asking for my advice..but then blowing it off. I dont want to tell her to leave him..its not my business. But I hate seeing her go through ALL the same shit I went through. He is even cheating on her with the same girls he cheated on me with. Should I just keep my fucking nose out of it? So far thats what Ive been doing. I figure if I stay out of it… my life will stay my business and i wont be in any trouble. But its so hard to see her getting so hurt. I also found out he has been hitting her and getting violent with her. I wish I could let her borrow my back bone.
Stay the fuck out of it.
That is all.
On cocky boys.
A guy who is just so fucking full of himself asked me out. Every time I see him at a party or something, he comes out with something like “I AM hot shit,” and I just mentally cringe.
He’s a good person behind all the bravado, though.
I don’t know if I should say yes or no… I’m afraid that he’ll come out with something utterly ridiculous and self-flattering during sex, or compare himself to the protagonists in movies or something. I don’t want to crush his ego (which is obviously fragile if he needs to stroke it so much) but I want to slap him from here to Shanghai every time I see him.
Are you in the mood for a project? If so, go ahead. I suppose it can be fun when a boy gets under your skin and drives you a little nuts.
Honestly though, unless you’re looking for a silly fling, it’s always better to skip the boys and just date men.
On confusing quotation marks.
Have you ever been “picked up” at a club?
Who the fuck uses quotation marks for the phrase picked up? Are you implying a euphemism? Is it a wink, wink, nudge, nudge type thing? Are you really trying to ask me if I’ve ever been fucked in a bathroom stall? What?
On being used.
He uses me for sex. And I adore him, so I let him. Because I’ll take what I can get. We never had a ‘relationship’ and we’ve technically gone on one date. I don’t know why I’m so hooked on him, but every he texts me at 3 a.m. I trot on over there like a lap dog. Am I so pathetic? Should I just drop him cold turkey? I don’t know what to do with him but I don’t know if I can let my pathetic little dream go.
Yes, you’re pathetic.
Yes, you should drop him cold turkey.
Yes, you can let your dream go.
Yes, we’ve all been there.