What’s your view on “girl raping” (getting guys incapacitated and fucking them)? I’ve been going to bars and clubs lately opening tabs for dumb, younger (and incredibly sexy) boys and taking them home to bang. In the morning I almost get off again from watching them do the walk of shame. Am I a terrible person?

— Kimora Klein, and I actually am in porn. Google me.

You don’t fuck a person — man or woman — who is incapacitated. EVER. That is abhorrent, if not criminal, behavior.

How can you be so cavalier about non-consensual sex? How can you derive pleasure from humiliating another human being? It’s sociopathic. Very unhealthy.

Honestly, Kimora, I’ve known quite a few girls in porn, and you’re not the first hardcore misandrist born out of that industry. I understand how you could come to feel a certain way about men, but I can’t condone how you treat them.

Getting off on causing someone emotional pain? Asserting your dominance by “girl raping”? Seriously, you need to get help. You’ve got a lot of shit to work out, and if you ever want to have a healthy relationship, you absolutely must talk to a therapist.

Ok. I guess I need to give a little back story. I’m an attractive looking lady, if I must say. Not crazy stunning, but I have some shit going for me in the looks department. Anyways.

This guy was at a mutual friends house and we really hit it off. Flirting and stuff the whole night. When it was time to go, he invited me back to his place. We got blazed and had the best sex ever. Then we chilled until the morning. Stayed up all night talking, it was awesome. Thing is, I only want this dude for more sex. He was funny to hang with, too. But nothing more. We even talked about how we both don’t want to be in relationships.

I didn’t get a chance to leave my number, I forgot. I gave it to the mutual friend to give him. She texted me telling me that his phone got cut off or some shit.

But if he wanted to fuck again, he could have just asked her to ask me to go over, right?

I know I shouldn’t care so much but I came 5 or 6 times. Such amazing sex. Would it seem desperate if I tried to contact him through the mutual friend. I just want to fuuuuuck.

I’ve never had this happen before. Usually guys find a way to get in touch with me. I’m not saying I’m whoring it up with anyone that will sleep with me. I just like sex. And this guy seemed like a potential fuck buddy.

Well, this has gotten entirely too long. I just wanted to ask you advice, because any advice I’ve seen you give has been extremely intelligent and I usually agree with it.

Coketalk me.

First of all, you write with a strong voice. You strike me as a woman, not a girl. That being the case, I wonder why you’re asking such an obvious question. Six orgasms? Fuck yes, you should chase this guy down! Grade-A, USDA approved, no-strings-attached cock is harder to find than we’d all like to admit. Stop worrying about what other people think, and do what feels good.

One red flag, though — I find it strange that the mutual friend didn’t give you his number. Actually, the excuse that “his phone got cut off” sounds like utter bullshit, and I’d bet half your orgasms that this girl doesn’t want you two hooking up again.

Odds are that he did ask for your contact information, but she probably cock-blocked him just like she did you.

Confront this mutual friend. Make her give you his number whether it works or not. If she keeps beating around the bush with more lame excuses, tell her that you and this guy talked about having a threesome with her. I guarantee she’ll be dialing that number faster than you can spell ménage à trois.

You seem to know alot sexually. I recently lost my virginity to a guy who I thought loved me, and now he only talks to me when he calls for phone sex. I know this is cliche and the only answer anyone seems to be able to give me is “Sorry, just get over him, he’s an asshole, etc”, but I thought that maybe you could give me some legitimate advice. Or at least tell me something, anything, to help me.

How old are you? How old is he? When was the first time you two fucked? When was the last time you two fucked? How often do you see him in person? How often does he call you for phone sex? Did you ever refer to him in public as your boyfriend? Did he ever refer to you in public as his girlfriend?

Send me answers, and I’ll send you my advice.

I’m seventeen, he’s eighteen. The first and last time was two months ago, and I’ve only seen him once since then. He calls for phone sex 2-3 times a week, and I haven’t referred to him as my boyfriend.

Okay, I’m willing to bet he’s not an asshole. He’s just a teenage boy, which for our purposes is much worse. The good news is that you’re not in love with him. That bad news is that he’s the guy who took your virginity.

For better or worse, you’re stuck with him. This guy is always gonna be the first track on your sex playlist, and until you’ve chosen a few more tunes, you can’t help but confuse being first for being number one.

I’m not suggesting you rush out and start fucking, but I do think it’s time for you to move on emotionally. Congratulations on getting your sex life started, but this relationship has served its purpose, and it’s time to end it.

Trust me. Set an early precedent. Be strong enough to end emotionally draining and unsatisfying relationships. Ending it now will make you a stronger woman, and with any luck, you’ll remember your first boy as a charming novelty.

And yes, that means no more phone sex. At your age, any kind of sexual behavior is easily confused with intimacy, and you don’t need that kind of static.

Honestly, it’s the most respectful thing you can do for yourself and for him.

You said you’re in the entertainment business. I’m really curious… Are you a porn star?

I really just want to live your life, that’s all. I also wish I was as sexually liberated as you. I’d tell you the story and ask you for advice but it’s a long one. Wish you were like my older sister or something.

— Your biggest fan

Nope, I’m not a porn star. No disrespect to my girls who are, it’s just that I would never allow someone else to control a copyright to my likeness, be it on a cheesy reality show or in some hot girl-on-girl action. You won’t find me in front of a camera any time soon.

As for your wish, I’ve got some good news. You already are as sexually liberated as me. The mere act of wishing means you have the capacity, so what’s holding you back? Feel free to tell me your story, by the way. If you take the time to write it, I’ll take the time to read it.

How do you feel about Lil’ Wayne?

— Sophia

As I am not a crank-snorting underage stripper from Tampa picking her pole music, I have no opinion about Lil’ Wayne.

What do you think of people who snort crushed pills with dollar bills?

— lov3izdruhnk

What are we talking about here? Xanies? Oxy? Ecstasy? And what denomination? Ones? Twenties? Hundreds? It makes a fucking difference, people!

Tacky or not: Big coat with fur lining, Kate Hudson in Almost Famous style.

— penny lane

Not tacky. Fabulous.