I like it when guys cum on my face, so does that mean I’m internally misogynistic?

Not at all, babe. You’re a filthy cum slut. Say it with pride.

It’d be one thing if your boyfriend liked to cum on your face and you let him even though you didn’t want to, but that’s not what’s happening here. This isn’t about male domination or female objectification. This is just about you enjoying a nice load in the face, and there’s nothing inherently degrading about that.

As for internalized misogyny, that manifests itself when other women shame you for taking pleasure in your sexuality. If some bitch calls you a cum slut like it’s a bad thing, she’s the one with the problem. Fuck that shit. Like what you like, and don’t let anyone slut shame you.

I agree with your last post, but as a psychiatrist, gotta add my two cents. Her boyfriend sounds like he has borderline personality disorder (frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, chronic suicidal gestures, history of self harm, impulsive, manipulation) and borderlines have a pretty high suicide rate of about 10%. I agree he’s being manipulative, inappropriate and toxic, but he’s also impulsive and reactive enough to make you regret thinking, “He’s not going to kill himself.” I’d argue he’s likely to do something dumb and if he accidentally overdoses or gets found with his head in an oven because she ignores his text…well that’s a mind fuck for her. I’d recommend just calling the cops, tell them everything and make sure they relay it to the hospital, have him taken to an ER and likely he’ll end up admitted to a psych floor. That way he’s safe, she can feel like he got help and more importantly…she’s not dealing with his death for the next few years. At that point though, I agree, never look back. Good luck with the next chapter!

You’re a shrink and you trust the system, but calling the cops is a big fucking deal for civilians. I don’t recommend it unless she’s already removed herself from the situation, and then only if he makes a specific threat.

Sure, it’d be awful for her if this asshole really did try and hurt himself, but having your suicidal ex sent up on a 5150 is a pretty big mind fuck too.

It’s a shitty decision either way.

I tried to break up with my boyfriend a few days ago, and after yelling at me and throwing the things I was trying to pack, he physically barricaded the front door with his body (after bolting and locking it). He broke down crying and told me that he won’t let me leave and threatened self harm. He has openly told me that he attempted suicide multiple times as a teenager. I stayed because I am genuinely concerned for his safety but every instinct inside of me is screaming to get out of this. I love and care for him deeply, but I am well aware our relationship is toxic. I know I can’t control what he does to himself, but I just would like to know how you’d navigate this situation.

Pack up all your shit and get the fuck out. Do it as quickly as possible, preferably when he’s not around. The relationship is already over. You didn’t “try” to break up with him. You did break up with him. Now he’s just using emotional blackmail to hold you hostage.

Quit worrying about his safety. He’s not going to kill himself. Even if he did hurt himself (which he won’t) it’s not your fault. He’s just saying fucked up shit like that to manipulate you, which is all the more reason for you to run for the hills and never speak to this motherfucker again.

Set whatever feelings you have for him aside and simply leave. You don’t owe him an explanation or any further communication, and you are not responsible for his behavior.

Gather your strength and just fucking go.

Last night, my girlfriend came over and dumped me. Her rationale was that she doesn’t feel like she can be the partner she wants to be because she still needs to figure herself out and “needs to be selfish” for awhile. Caught me off-guard for sure, but I get it. She’s entering that quarter-life crisis mode. I’m sad and kind of holding out hope that we can try it again down the road a bit once she gains some perspective. Am I naive? Is it a done deal?

Yes, it’s a done deal, and no, you’re not naive. It’s a natural inclination to hold out hope as a defense mechanism against emotional pain, but that just delays the inevitable.

Deal with your pain in one lump sum. Don’t take a mortgage out on it. Holding out hope that you can try it again down the road will only poison your ability to move on, and in the meantime, you’ll stumble through an awkward phase of rebound dating that will only make things worse.

You’re the one who needs to gain some perspective. Step back and see your relationship as a whole. It had a beginning, middle, and now it’s had its end. That’s okay. All things do.

Allow yourself to feel sad for a little while, learn from it, and then move on completely.

What was supposed to be a no biggie fling has turned into a brain exploding headfuck with a guy who has suddenly decided he doesn’t want to sleep with me because he “respects me as a human-being” and even though he finds me “extremely sexually attractive” doesn’t want to use me like a “toy” and is afraid sex will lead to “feelings”.

The misogyny embedded in his dick-teasing explanations for not wanting to fuck make me want to put my head through a wall. Last time I was single, this city was a casual sex fest. I haven’t yet encountered this shit and I’m really confused.

I’m pretty butthurt I didn’t get laid cos, apparently, I’m a “woman” and I have “feelings” and those “feelings” are activated through my vagina. How should I process this stupid shit?

He just didn’t want to fuck you. It happens. Get over it.

It’s okay, though. I know his type. The sex would have been terrible, and he’d have been calling you a cab while you were still wiping his cum off your tits.

Of course, that’s what he was trying to tell you with all that coded “nice guy” bullshit. You just have to know how to read between the lines. When this guy said he’s afraid sex would lead to “feelings,” what he meant is that he’s afraid sex would lead to “you being needy.”

And he doesn’t find you “extremely sexually attractive” any more than he “respects you as as human-being.” That’s just him being patronizing. After all, for him to think that casual sex would be “using you like a toy” pretty much sums up his internalized opinion of women as sex objects.

I get that rejection sucks, but not getting laid by an emotionally crippled douchebag ain’t the worst thing that’ll happen to you this week. Hard dick is good to find, but good dick is harder to find than you think. Keep looking. You’ll get some soon enough.

I turned 23 today and feel like shit. No money, no plans, no family or friends around to celebrate. What would you do to make this day worth it?

No need to feel like shit. It’s good to have a birthday like that every once in a while. Savor it. Reflect. Get contemplative.

You’ve spent the last decade growing out of childhood and becoming an adult. How do you want to grow over the next decade? Who do you want to be at 33? Sincerely try and come up with an answer. Put some deep thought into it, and then sit down and write a birthday letter to yourself.

Trust me, in a few years, you’ll come to appreciate how you memorialized your 23rd birthday a helluva lot more than the ones where you just blew out a few candles.

He can’t handle me having contact with other guys—- even on Facebook. I’m ONLY into him… like head over heels, otherwise I would say fuck it and head out. He has apologized profusely. He has a lot of issues involving exes cheating and an abusive dad beating the thought that’s he’s a POS into his head emotionally and physically.  He is an amazing person, the most altruistic person I have met. He treats me better than anyone ever has. How do I approach this?

He’s not an amazing person. He’s just a dude, one with severe trust and control issues who’s making a bunch of excuses for behavior that is absolutely unacceptable.

You aren’t gonna hear me when I say this, but you should run for the fucking hills. You won’t, though. You’re in love, and your standards are pretty low.

At the very least, quit making excuses for his bullshit. Don’t ever let him use his jealousy as a means to control you. You can have contact with whomever the fuck you want, whenever the fuck you want.

If he can’t handle it, that’s his problem to fix. He’s the one with the glaring character flaw, and it’s not on you to appease him.

I think that things are meaningless on their own so we are supposed to give them a meaning.

Sorry, but no. The only difference between “we” and “things” is the illusion of your subjectivity. Things are not “on their own.” You can’t separate yourself from meaninglessness, and any attempt to do so is merely an expression of your ego.

That’s all your ego does, really. It gives meaning to things, relentlessly insisting that you exist, right up until you don’t.

My friend’s car got towed last night and she has to pay $240 to get it back.  She’s broke and can’t pay it all and asked me if I can loan her some cash.  I used to live with her and she was terrible about paying me back for small things like grocery money, so I really don’t want to lend her money again.  Am I being a total bitch?

You’re not being a bitch. Your friend has already proven herself to be irresponsible and unreliable, so just tell her no. If she gives you the slightest amount of shit for refusing to make her money problems your money problems, cut her out of your life. People like that are poison.

As a general rule, don’t lend money to friends unless you’re happy to do it and won’t mind if you’re never paid back.