Am I being unrealistic in expecting my partner to not disappoint me? I understand problems will arise in any relationship, but when it is a recurring problem and talking about it isn’t creating any solutions, is my only option to leave?

Maybe I’m being foolish, but if there is anybody that could knock me out of it, it would be you Coke Talk.

Are you being unrealistic? Yes. Disappointment happens. It’s inevitable, but you know what? Our partners also support us and make us laugh and cuddle with us and sex us up when we need sexing. That’s why we keep them around, right?

If the recurring problem overshadows all those good things, then sure, you’ve got a tough choice to make, but what are we really talking about here? Is he addicted to crack, or does he just wear too much cologne? Is she going down on all your friends, or does she just chew with her mouth open? It’s all a matter of degree.

I doubt you’re being foolish, but it sounds like you might be confusing high expectations for high standards. It’s good to have both, but you need to understand the difference between someone merely letting you down versus someone ultimately not being good enough.

Everyone has limitations and imperfections, and in an intimate relationship, you’re gonna stumble into them from time to time. When your partner drops the ball, just give him some shit and make him pick it back up. Hopefully, he gets better each time. If he doesn’t, and it’s a dealbreaker, then so be it.

Fuck it. This stuff is hard. Real relationships are a bitch sometimes. Whatever you’re dealing with, I hope it works out.

Good luck.

How do I know when I’m ready to have sex for the first time? I know you won’t give me any Seventeen magazine, Disney nonsense, which is why I’m asking specifically you. Let me have it.

Is your decision to become sexually active on your own terms and of your own free will?

Do you recognize and respect the possible consequences, both physical and emotional, of becoming sexually active?

Are you able and willing to practice safe sex every single time?

If you can honestly answer yes to those three questions, you are ready.

I broke up with my boyfriend of two years last November. He hasn’t returned my texts or calls since January.

The bigger story here is that for the last 8 months of our relationship, I was in contact with another guy that I had been with previously. It was pretty serious, to the point that we were physical and said we loved each other and we are now in a relationship. My ex found out about the cheating while we were together. He did ask me about it a couple of times and I flat out lied.

I just want my ex to know that I’m sorry, but he won’t respond to my calls or texts. Should I keep trying or just drop it? Is he punishing me for lying about my old flame? And now I’m also worried the karma from this will catch up to my old flame and I’s new relationship. What should I do?

Ugh. People like you drive me crazy. “I just want my ex to know that I’m sorry.” Bullshit. You want forgiveness. You want absolution. Your motives are selfish.

Your ex isn’t punishing you. You don’t get to be the victim here. You’re the cheater. Hell, you’re the worst kind of cheater. You spent a third of your former relationship engaged in an intimate affair and you lied about it.

Fuck off, already. Just leave your ex alone. This is your guilt to deal with, and if it’s corrosive to your current relationship, tough shit. You earned it.

I was starting to get involved with this guy a couple weeks back. I felt there was something weird going on, so I asked him about it, he said everything was cool, still I feel the need to mention to him that he shouldn’t fuck with me. He adds me on facebook, it says he’s engaged, his explanation is that he has no computer to fix any of the outdated info, but he’s single. Later I tag a photo of him and I’m immediately deleted. I contact his fiance and tell her all about everything. (I think it’s only fair, since hes lying to both of us and I told him not to fuck with me) My question is, I’m not sure how I should feel about this. Should I feel accomplished? proud? Or just plain miserable?

Accomplished? Proud? Fuck you. You should feel ashamed. You dropped a grenade into some poor girl’s engagement out of anger and spite. Sure, the relationship may have been flawed, but what business is that of yours?

Don’t pretend for one second that you were acting out of some altruistic sense of sisterhood. You weren’t trying to protect her from a cheating fiance. You were just lashing out at the guy for lying. That shit was vengeance, pure and simple.

He deserved it, but she didn’t. You used her as emotional cannon fodder, and that’s not cool. Revenge should never have collateral damage.

Next time, just walk away.

Also, stop announcing to people that they shouldn’t fuck with you. It’s a childish threat that accomplishes nothing. At best, it’s a sign of weakness. At worst, it’s a sign that you’re batshit insane.

I live in this shitty rust belt town with a population not very different from my college dorm.  Every few days, I go to town for the essentials like food, water, and vodka.  Unfortunately, it seems like you can’t go to town anymore without some stupid little urchins heckling you or something.

The older ones I don’t mind as much.  Teenagers are insecure little cretins and as bad ass as they think they are, I can pretty quickly break them down.  Plus, since they should know not to harass strangers at 15, I don’t feel guilty for verbally destroying their psyches.

But what I don’t know how to handle are the kids.  The 9 or 10 year olds.  I mean, is it OK to tell some kid on a scooter eating a DumDum to fuck off if he starts yelling shit like “Hey lady, who wears high-heels? Are you a prostitute?”  Can I run them over?  Take the scooter?

I’m just tired of my cigarette runs being marred by little ankle-biter redneck-spawn, and I’d appreciate your take on the etiquette of this situation.

Nine years old, eh? Fucking gremlins. It’s best not to run them over. They just bounce right off, and all you’ve done is scratched up your bumper. However, feel free to scream whatever evil shit is in the darkest part of your soul.

I’d probably have gone with, “Hey kid, a prostitute is a woman who fucks for money. You know, like that skanky whore you call a mother.”

Or perhaps, “Your dad paid for these high heels with your fucking lunch money. Oh wait, do you even have a dad?”

Also, your town sounds horrible. You should move. Seriously. Get the fuck out before your life becomes a shitty Springsteen B-side.

My boyfriend will sometimes comment on how attractive other females (celebrities and non-celebrities). It hurts my feelings, especially because I don’t say things like “oh, that dude is sooooo hot” around him. I think it’s rude. What do you think? Dickmove, or should I get over it?

If he keeps doing it despite knowing that it hurts you feelings, then yeah, it’s a dick move. On the other hand, quit letting that shit get to you. The world is full of other people’s hotness. Don’t feel threatened by it. Celebrate it.

The next time he makes a comment, take control of it. Come back with, “Oh yeah, she is sexy. Wouldn’t you love to see me make out with her?” Insert yourself into the fantasy. Saddle up and ride that shit. Your sexual will is infinitely more powerful than his. Don’t be afraid to let it push him around a bit.

I dunno. Maybe that’s too much for you. At the very least, own the moment by not giving a fuck.

Oh, and feel free to let your boyfriend see you drooling over the occasional dude. Trust me, it’s good for him.

I’d love to get rapped up in some great revolutionary movement. Believe completely, take to the streets, kill nay-sayers, with the knowledge that it’s all for the best. But nothing has caught my fancy yet. Any suggestions?

Move to Iran.

People say I’m a bitch, but I didn’t know that speaking the truth meant bitch. People say that in order to meet guys, I need to be a nicer person; meaning fake, no one is really “nice”. Do I really want a guy that can’t handle the truth?

There’s a huge difference between a strong woman who speaks the truth and a self-righteous cunt who hurts other people with her unsolicited opinion.

There’s also a huge difference between a guy handling the truth and one merely putting up with your shit because you’re pretty.

If everyone around you thinks you’re a bitch, take the hint. You don’t have to be a nice person, but you do have to be a good person.

This isn’t about being fake. It’s about having some fucking compassion.

How’s that for truth?