Okay, now I’m curious too—Detroit: frozen hell filled with rusted cars, or a city that needs to get over feeling sorry for itself and get shit done?
While I have my reservations about OCP’s use of heavily armed enforcement droids in the more crime ridden neighborhoods, I do support the Chairman’s plans to demolish Old Detroit and redevelop it as Delta City.
Do I dare ask your thoughts on Minneapolis?
I’ve never been to Minneapolis, or if I have, I don’t remember it. I imagine Minneapolis is filled with incredibly well-mannered white people who talk about things like snow tires, and everything there tastes like unsalted butter.
While we’re on the subject… London?
London is Narnia. Everybody there either went to Hogwarts or is some kind of chimney sweep. I mean, come on. They still have Kings and Queens and shit. How fucking ridiculous is that?
I dunno. I’ve spent enough time in London to know it’s not actually a magical place, but if a real live fucking goblin ever popped out from under a bridge and started quoting Monty Python at me, I honestly wouldn’t be all that surprised.
Yo, I wanna hear what you have to say about San Francisco. Moved here a year and a half ago, have lots of love for many things in the Bay Area but having troubz rationalizing the garbage attitudes. Thoughts?
I love San Francisco, but only in small doses. The people I know there are hella cool, and by people, I mean individuals with distinct thoughts and opinions.
That’s what’s weird about San Francisco. If you step back from it and let everyone’s personality dissolve into a fog of human energy, that shit doesn’t feel quite right. For some reason, the people there buzz at an annoying frequency.
Still, it’s great for a long, drug-fueled weekend. I mean, where else could my tattooed lesbian stripper friends take me to an impromptu Wiccan ceremony in the tower of a legendary Victorian mansion that some weirdo aging hippie bought because the founder of the Church of Satan used to hang out there?
When it’s not taking itself too seriously, San Francisco is a magnificent fucking freak show, and the only thing I love more than getting sticky in it is finally getting to leave.
I’m curious – what are your thoughts on Chicago? I know you have mad love for LA and NYC, but I’m curious.
Chicago is a frozen hell filled with weathered souls. It is the municipal embodiment of an inferiority complex, a place that didn’t invent hot dogs or corruption, but perfected both.
The best thing I can say about Chicago is that the people I know who are from there are big-hearted and fiercely loyal. Of course, none of them live there anymore, which is kind of the point.
I have respect for Chicago, but no love.
This happens to me every year during our industry cycle. Someone pops up and asks me if I want to work in New York. Is there anything you can say to help me figure out where I stand? I don’t know what my priorities should be because I feel triumphant or fucked either way I think about it. For every reason I come up with, there’s a counter. Being anywhere is exactly the same opportunity.
Holy shit, do I feel you. I struggle with this question every goddamned season.
If I moved to New York I could instantly double my salary. Plus, there are so many more opportunities for advancement in my industry. Honestly, I’ve almost gone and done it twice now.
I came really close this year. Really close — as in, I got rid of half my shit and started looking at apartments in lower Manhattan.
Ugh. I love spending time in New York, and I already have friends there, but living in that city is hard. Even at twice the salary I could only afford a tiny shoebox in the neighborhood I’d want. And I hate being cold. Hate it. Hate it.
Still, New York is the center of the fucking universe, and if I didn’t love LA so much, I would have already moved there long ago.
Triumphant or fucked either way. Yeah. That’s a perfect description. Damn, I wish I knew what to tell you.
Fucking hell. Lemme know what you decide.
I accidentally let it slip that I think of people that liked the movie Gravity as the ones that fucked “the dumb girl.” I feel the movie pays lip service to science. So my issue is this; everyone at work hates me. Is there some weird trick for blending in with the herd without feeling oppressed? I’ve had this problem before in religious environments.
Yeah, I haven’t seen Gravity, but I have had a similar history of frustration when it comes to Sandra Bullock movies.
Still, I just blog about my opinions. I don’t go around acting like an arrogant jerk to people’s faces over something as trivial as a popcorn flick. There’s a time and a place to be a cunt, and it ain’t during water cooler talk at the office.
People hate you because you’re a dick. You refer to your co-workers as “the herd,” and you believe you’re special just because you have a different world view. Well, guess what? You work there too, numnuts.
You wanna know the weird trick for blending in? Simple. It’s called being kind to people. You could instantly and dramatically improve the quality of your life if you would stop walking around with a chip on your shoulder.
You’re not oppressed. You’re just an asshole. Get used to the world being full of people with different opinions.
How do you celebrate Veterans Day?
Fuck Veterans Day. It’s a bullshit federal holiday glorifying imperialism and war at the expense of the sad broken bastards who were either too poor or too stupid to avoid being cannon fodder for the military industrial complex.
The truth is America treats its veterans like shit, and holidays like this are all just public relations theory and emotional blackmail to keep the flag waving morons steeped in sentimentality and nationalistic pride.
How should a male feminist flirt? (I get the impression that a little guide to this might help ease the symptoms of Nice Guy Syndrome sufferers…)
Oh my god, no. It is definitionally impossible to be a male feminist who suffers from Nice Guy Syndrome. The two couldn’t be more mutually exclusive. If you really are a male feminist, whatever social awkwardness you might be suffering should never be confused with something so gross as Nice Guy Syndrome.
What bugs me even more about this question is the assumption that courtship rituals are somehow different for male feminists than they are for other dudes. You’re not special because you identify as a male feminist. In fact, that’s not a label you get to claim for yourself, especially in this context. I’m sorry, but your behavior has to speak for itself.
How you should flirt as a male feminist is no different than how any dude should flirt, and quite frankly, there’s nothing I can tell you about flirting that shouldn’t be patently obvious to someone who claims to be a male feminist. But hey, since you asked, here’s my two cents:
First and foremost, be situationally aware. 90% of the awkward moments in the known universe could be avoided if guys would just pay attention to their surroundings before hitting on a girl.
Is it an appropriate time and place for you to flirt? Do you have any indication that your advances might be welcome? Is there anyone who might be made to feel uncomfortable if you started flirting? If you don’t have clear and positive answers to all of these questions, then any move you make will be a one way ticket to awkward town.
If you do have a handle on the situation, then it really just comes down to being respectful and not saying stupid shit. The goal is merely to telegraph a little bit of romantic intent through non-verbal cues.
Please note, I said romantic intent, not sexual intent. Leave your dick out of the equation. Communicating the idea that you find a woman attractive is not the same thing as communicating the idea that you want to fuck. If you fail to comprehend this simple distinction, then I assure you, you are not a male feminist, and for the sake of all womankind, you should probably never go out in public again.
Good luck with the flirting. Oh, and did I mention? Don’t say stupid shit.
I recently got written up at work for calling the boss’s wife, “the boss’s wife” the first time I met her. We have the same title and position at work and I’m a pretty light-hearted and sarcastic guy at times. Who was wrong? Me for jokingly referring to her that way or her for shoving that stick up her ass far enough to complain to HR?
Fuck who was wrong. This ain’t about that. You need to quickly wrap your head around how badly you fucked up.
Congratulations, dumbass. You’ve officially made an enemy at work who can get you fired. Not only is she the boss’s wife, but she’s clearly demonstrated that she knows how to use the system to her advantage. There’s paperwork involved, and guess what? On paper, you’re the bad guy.
Is she a hypersensitive cunt for having you reprimanded? Maybe. Do you come off as more of an asshole than you think you do? Probably. Still, all of that is beside the point. What matters is that she doesn’t like you, and you need to recognize that this was a warning shot from a master manipulator who made you her bitch on the very first day she met you.
Don’t think of this in terms of who was right or wrong. This is a power game. It’s about who wins or loses, and despite you two having the same job description, she’s already asserted her dominance.
Good luck keeping that title and position.