Every guy I’ve ever been with has came in less than 5 minutes in bed. I’m not exactly sure if I’m just the shit in the sack or I make bad picks, but either way I’m getting no satisfaction. How can I help this?

Not to be a grammar nazi, but in this context I believe the past tense of “has came” is simply “cums.” That is to say, every guy you’re with cums in less than five minutes. Now, onto your larger problem.

Based on your conjugation skills, I’m guessing you’re a college freshman, which means you’re surrounded by guys who talk a big game but haven’t logged many hours inside actual pussy. It’s not that you make bad picks, it’s just that you’re bedding inexperienced dudes.

An obvious solution is to start fucking professors, but if you insist on frat boys your best bet is to get their first orgasm out of the way early.

Make them cum right away, hard and fast. The trick is to make sure they know they’re not done. Keep the sexual energy high and turn their refractory period into extended foreplay. When erection number two pops up, that’s the one you ride.

I promise, the second time around, they’ll fuck a lot longer than five minutes.

One drunken night a friend and I hooked up. Knowing about his track record and how he talks about his sexcapades I figured our friendship would be fine. Our once long, fun, interesting conversations don’t exsist any more. We’ve never been really close, but we have been (like I said) friends for a little over two years. He rarely talks to me now and can’t look me in the eye anymore. I was just wondering if you could articulate what you think his deal is.

He’s a boy, not a man. Not a big deal, really. He’s just not ready to handle a friendship with benefits.

A bit of his male ego is at stake now that you’ve hooked up, and he’s probably a bit confused about his feelings for you. That’s what’s leading to the avoidance behavior.

If you want to salvage the fun stuff, you’ll need to explicitly tell him what to expect in this kind of situation. Spell it out for him. Keep it playful.

The kid needs a fucking map, so do him a favor and just tell him what to feel. Once you guys get comfortable again, you can take off the training wheels.

My boyfriend and I are experimenting with different kinds of lubricant. Which kinds would you recommend?

Astroglide is fine, but if you’re ready to move beyond grocery store lube, there’s no better brand than Sliquid.

My personal favorite is Sliquid Silk, because it’s a best-of-both-worlds blend of both water-based and silicone lubricant.

The guy I’m currently dating broke up with his girlfriend and started dating me less than a week after. I don’t know if he dumped her FOR me, but that’s besides the point. The point is that the psycho bitch has resurfaced after a month and a half of silence by calling and saying things like “I want you to push me up against a wall and fuck me” (which is interesting because for the whole of their year and a half long relationship she refused to have sex with him once) binge-drinking and popping pills she can’t even pronounce then contacting him at three in the morning claiming that she wants to stop and that he’s the only one that can convince her to do so. It’s destroying him (he feels responsible for her well-being, and feels wholeheartedly that no one else can help her but him) and starting to get really upsetting (it’s been two weeks.)

What can I possibly do? I know this qualifies as emotional blackmail (which you are firmly set AGAINST, with reason) and besides being “supportive”, patting him on the back telling him that he won’t have to hold back her hair while she pukes up her pharmacy cabinet for long and just generally feeling useless, I can’t seem to think of a solution. Being “firm” with him and telling him to ignore her isn’t an option, he’ll get upset. And fuck, I really like this guy and he really seems to like me, but his take on the whole situation is to deal with it until it blows over and then he can be with me without the added baggage of crazy.

Your advice, please?

Does this bag of crazy have parents? If so, that’s your ticket to freedom.

As with all blackmail, the only real solution is to report it to the authorities. Emotional blackmail is no different, and in this case, the authority is her parents.

You have to convince your boyfriend to 411 her folks, call them up, and hand off the responsibility he still feels for her welfare. He needs to tell them something like, “I care about your daughter, but she can’t be in my life anymore. She needs help, but I can’t be the one to do it. As her parents, you need to step in and take care of her.”

It might be a tough sell, because it sounds like they had a co-dependent relationship. Your boyfriend is used to thinking he’s the only one in the world who can help her. Well, he’s not. Shatter that myth. Parents are a far more appropriate source of support than an ex-boyfriend, and he needs to see that.

If you play your cards right, your boyfriend will feel like he did the right thing by not abandoning his ex, and she’ll stop turning to him if she thinks he’ll call her parents every time she looses control.

Good luck.

I was nearly raped a while back. He got on top of me, hurt me and tried to push himself inside me, but I fought him off before it got much worse.

I had a partner at the time (Who I am still with) and my problem is this: I’m terrified of sex now. Kissing and touching is fine, but when it moves beyond a certain point I freeze up and become unresponsive.

I’m not sure what to do. I hate that I’ve been affected so much by something that wasn’t even technically rape by a random creep. It makes me guilty because I know my boyfriend hasn’t done anything bad, and yet he suffers the brunt of my issues. I can tell the lack of sex is driving him nuts. It’s doing me in too. I want to get back on top (Pun not intended). Not just for him, but for myself too.

Your advice, please? (And thank you)

Seek treatment for post traumatic stress disorder. The sooner the better.

Don’t get caught up in whether it was “technically rape.” You were the victim of a violent sexual assault, and the psychological ramifications are very real.

You have no reason to feel guilty. This isn’t your fault, and you deserve to get better. I hate to say that I’ve been there, but I know what I’m talking about when I say that PTSD treatment works. It really speeds up the healing process. Go get some help.

Hey. I feel really dumb asking this. I just don’t know where else to get opinions. OK. So. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. We loved eachother in the begining. Everything was great. But now, i just feel like the relationship has died, and we just keep dragging it on when in reality there’s nothing left. we just fightandfightandfight, and fake being happy. And I’m just sick of it. I broke it off with him a few months ago, and then we got back together because i felt bad for him. He told me he was oging to kill himself. i don’t know what to do. I want to be happy and live my life, and not feel trapped, but he’s stopping me. And I don’t know how to fix this.

sorry that’s so long.

Not long at all, actually. Quite to the point. I’ll be equally brief.

Break up with him immediately.

Never put up with emotional blackmail. He’s not going to kill himself. In fact, fuck him for saying that to you. His emotional state is not your responsibility. You don’t have to fix anything.

Just cut him out of your life.