It has literally been over 12 months since I last had sex. Right now I’m contemplating ruining my friendships by having sex with them at a party and then having shit get awkward and whatever. So far as I can see it’s either that or continue my steady diet of abstinence. What should I do?
Is is really so hard to fuck a stranger? Quit acting like your married and go have some filthy, no-strings-attached, “What was your name, again?” sex.
So I have been completely in love with this kid for years. After a while, we eventually have become best friends. We have almost dated a few different times now, but it’s an incredibly complicated situation, so it’s never really worked out. We both care for each other very much is what I’m really getting at I guess. Regardless of us being within the title of “best friends” we still hook up quite a bit. Unfortunately right before it happens, or at some point during, he’ll always make some kind of comment like “This is a really bad idea.” I am never the one to start it, he is always the one to start kissing or pulling at clothing what have you, and I usually just go with it. He is very aware of my feelings for him, so I am wondering… what the fuck is up with this? Is he just using me for sex since he knows I’ll be into it, is he pitying me for my feelings, or is he actually attracted to me? It’s not a question of whether or not he’s a complete ass hole, he’s not just some guy I have randomly met, and according to him, I’m the only person who means anything to him at all. I had planned that the next time it happened, I’d stop and be like “whoa dude, what are we doing?” but alas, we were drunk, and it still seemed like a good idea at the time. Help?
There is no help for you. I’m very sorry, but you are totally fucked.
You are in love, and he is not. He has a penis, and you have a vagina.
See where I’m going with this?
Yes, he is using you for sex — but he is not “just” using you for sex. It’s not about pity. He probably does have genuine affection for you, but the timing and chemistry are off.
Stop hooking up with him. You lost your “best friends with benefits” status the second you fell in love. There is a massive imbalance in this relationship, and the sex will absolutely destroy you.
Have a little self respect and exercise a little self restraint. Let him know that the two of you are done fucking. Don’t wait until you’re hot and heavy to pull a “whoa dude, what are we doing?” That’s not cool either. Let him know if he ever disrespects your wishes by taking advantage of your vulnerability, then the friendship is over. Mean it.
At this point, all you’re really doing is managing pain, so pick your poison: falling out of love hurts, but not nearly as much as being in unrequited love.
hey bitch! What’s your take on religion and would you consider yourself a religious whore or a spiritual being?
Wow. You know how in movies when an awkward dad tries to sound hip for his teenage kids by using their slang in some wildly inappropriate way that makes everyone cringe?
That’s pretty much what’s happening here.
A quick lesson: when using the word “whore” for self-deprecating comic effect, the modifier must be a noun, never an adjective.
A “religion whore” is a chick who gets off on religion, whereas a “religious whore” is a christian prostitute.
I am neither.
how do i get invited to more parties?
Be friends with people who throw parties.
Recently a relationship between me, a 15 year old, and this guy I met over the summer, who was 21, ended. We never actually did anything sexual or physical, seeing as he kept reminding me that i “was 15”. (Yea no fucking shit) But all summer we flirted and texted and talked on the phone and he, once in awhile, would talk about how nice it would be to kiss me. He has a tendency to whine, so when he started talking to me about how lonely he was, I took it as an oppurtunity to tell him how I felt. He said somethig along the lines of “Well, I could say something, but Im going to keep my mouth shut and who knows what will happen in the future?” what the fuck is that? Is he being a nice guy and avoiding my jailbait ass or did he simply lead my stupid teenage girl self on? whats your view of the situation.
Thanks for the extra details. Much better this time.
Let me start out by saying that he didn’t lead you on. He lead himself on. That’s what people do with forbidden fruit. They let it water their mouths knowing they can’t take a bite.
He wasn’t reminding you that you’re fifteen. He was reminding himself. You are textbook All-American forbidden fruit, kiddo. Of course he’s avoiding your jailbait ass! Don’t for one second confuse that for being a nice guy, though.
He let his mind wander one too many times while fantasizing about you, and since he couldn’t legally dump a load on you, he decided to dump his emotional baggage on you instead — kind of a dick move, if you ask me.
I can also guarantee that he has literally done the math on you.
There is a big wall calendar in his head with a bunch of red X’s leading up to the day when your vagina is no longer a gateway to registering as a sex offender.
That’s pretty fucking tacky, and when you add that to all his whining, the guy really starts to look like a creep. I suppose he gets some small credit for walking away when the forbidden fruit looked him in the eye and said, “eat me.” Still, it’s best that you just move on.
Also, you should really start getting used to older guys wanting to fuck you. You’re still a kid, but that’s just the way it goes. You probably think you’re mature for your age, and you very well may be, but anyone who considers this kind of contact a “relationship” isn’t playing with grown-ups just yet.
The difference between fifteen and seventeen is huge; the difference between fifteen and nineteen is enormous, but the difference between fifteen and twenty-one is a great yawning chasm of gritty experience.
Just chill the fuck out and enjoy your learner’s permit.
You’ll be in the fast lane soon enough.
What, the fuck, are we doing here? i mean honestly…
I thing Vonnegut got it right. He said we’re here on Earth to fart around, and not to let anybody tell you different.
so. i had been hooking up with this guy for like a month..nothing serious- just friends who live a street apart with a physical attraction and no strings. awesome, right? ya, shit WAS awesome- until i got my rag in his fucking bed one morning. i understand its disgusting and grossly misunderstood by guys, but he clipped me. nothing- no phone calls, no texts…nothing. i took his sheets home, bleached the fuck out of them and promptly returned them along with brownies i made. so i felt bad, guilty as charged.
i know its on him, i shouldnt care blah blah but i cant help but constantly think about how this amazing situation turned dormant because of some bodily function he learned about in 5th fucking grade. what kind of douche cant handle mother nature? and is it worth giving up an amazingly sexy casual fuck??
You can blame your bleeding vagina if you like, but ultimately that’s not the real reason he stopped calling. It’s just the excuse. If he really liked you and your homemade brownies, he’d be earning his red wings right now.
Don’t feel bad. It’s not about you or your bodily functions. Like you said, it was no-strings fuck-buddy sex. He was simply done fucking you, and he just happened to use your crime scene as an opportunity to pull back.
You already know it’s on him, so move on. Don’t look back.
Clearly he’s not worth it.
I have a friend who is in a relationship with someone on the internet. I wouldn’t even call it a relationship- but she does. They have never met, because he lives in another country. I feel like she’s getting too attached to an idea of the “perfect guy” not realizing that this man (if he even is a man) is just letting her see what he wants her to see. She makes him videos (without getting any in return), and they exchange emails discussing moving in together and falling in love. It’s bullshit to me and I feel like she’s making a huge mistake.
How do you feel about online romantic relationships? Am I overreacting?
You are not overreacting.
There’s a huge difference between signing up for eHarmony and burying yourself in an online prince charming fantasy.
Romantic relationships may start on the internet, but they can’t stay there. If your friend is talking about moving in together without ever having met the guy in real life, there’s some serious imbalance going on.
I don’t know. This could be some mild form of avoidant personality disorder, or she could just be acting really pathetic. I can’t blindly guess.
Either way, there’s a part of me that wants to remind you that if she’s not hurting anyone, it’s not really any of your business. You have to let people make their mistakes.
Yo, so my dealer wants to fuck me, badly. I’m not into him at all, which usually wouldn’t be the biggest problem, but I really don’t want to fuck up our business relationship: he gets pretty phenom stuff and sells to me at discounted prices because we’ve known each other for a while. We made out once three years ago, he went all Fatal Attraction on me and I realized he wanted it to turn into a relationship, and I was like “woah, I was wasted, I make out with everybody, calm down.” I’m just not a commitment kinda gal. Fast forward to three weeks ago, I made the same drunken mistake of kissing him (I realize I shouldn’t have done that, but drunk me isn’t the best at decisions), and once again, he won’t step off. I’ve ignored his phone calls and denied his requests to hang out one-on-one. He’s a nice guy, I just don’t want to fuck him. I do, however, want to remain a customer. I’m stopping by his place tomorrow to make a purchase, and I’m pretty positive he will try something. How do I tell him to back off without offending him and ruining my best connection?
Sister, if I had a fucking nickel. Ugh!
Let me tell you, this kind of shit happens to me all the time. Honestly, I have yet to meet a dealer who didn’t have a warped sense of propriety when it came to female customers.
It’s not so much a sense of entitlement, but these guys are so used to actual coke whores they just start thinking that all girls are that easy to get.
Your dealer needs a pussy reality check, and there’s no easy way to do it.
It’s going to be awkward, but I suggest a strong, simple version of, “I’m not available. Please don’t pursue me sexually.”
Keep it respectful and amicable, but be crystal clear.
If he stops giving you a good price, call him out on it. “You mean the only reason you were giving me a discount is because you wanted to fuck me? That’s not cool, I thought we were friends.”
We all know the truth, but there’s no harm in shaming your way back to friend rates. Remember, he needs good customers more than you need good blow.
Good luck.
my best friend’s girlfriend just passed away. she was a great person, everybody loved her. we’re all having a hard time dealing with it but he’s practically catatonic, which is understandable, but it’s been two months and he’s still in shock. is there any way possible to get him to at least get out of his apartment?
If he’s been holed up for two months, step one is to air the place out. Don’t surprise him with anything, but take the initiative and order a cleaning service to come in and scrub the apartment from top to bottom.
He’s gonna resist the cleaning. Tell him your mom ordered you to do this for him, neither of you have a choice in the matter, and that it has to happen.
Schedule it around noon and insist that he leave the apartment while they clean so that you can take him out to lunch. Be in public. Sit outside if you can. Talk about the weather. One or two beers, but no heavy drinking. Just the two of you.
He’s gonna try and pick up the tab for the cleaning service, but don’t let him. Instead, tell him to pay you back with tickets to an upcoming concert or sporting event. Insist that he go with you.
Don’t feel bad about manipulating his sense of obligation by insisting on his attendance. It’s the cleanest way of getting him off his ass.
At the same time, don’t use the word should. Don’t tell him how he should be feeling or what he should be doing.
This isn’t about moving on. It’s just about moving.