What do you make of the Justin Bieber fad? At first, it’s still acceptable as his bubblegum hits are rather catchy…but not even Lady Gaga has three seperate biographies and a biopic barely a year of entering the industry.

Every generation of tween girls needs a non-threateningly pubescent mop-headed pop sensation on which to compulsively project their budding sexuality, and you should never underestimate the sheer magnitude of disposable income those bitches control.

The window is small, twenty-four to thirty-six months tops. That’s all the time Bieber has to cash in before his entire fan base starts getting its period and moves on to its version of a grunge phase.

His handlers are smart to blow their wad now.

Is it worth getting a medical marijuana card?  I’m unquestionably eligible, smoke a fair bit of weed, but given how easy and safe it is to find excellent weed in California,  I don’t know if it’s worth my very limited student dollars.

Safe? Dude, I know it’s California, but that shit isn’t quite legal just yet. For a hundred bucks, you can have a doctor write you a legit medical marijuana prescription for a year.

Think of it like weed insurance. You’ll be carrying the hippie version of a get out of jail free card. Not that getting busted for simple possession is gonna get you incarcerated, but if you do something stupid or end up on the shady side of an asshole cop, a drug charge could still be a major hassle that puts your academic career in jeopardy.

With a medical marijuana card, you don’t have to worry about possession or cultivation for personal use in California. I’d say that peace of mind is worth twelve bucks a month, and of course, you’ll have access to all that ridiculously good shit at the dispensaries.

I recently took my girlfriend’s virginity. Not even 2 minutes after, I called her by someone else’s name while we were talking. For the record, it wasn’t the name of anyone I’ve ever had sex with, dated or even been attracted to (no fantasies, sex dreams,none of it). She’s pissed. What the hell do I do?

Laugh at yourself, because you’re an idiot.

I want to break up with my boyfriend but we’ve already bought tickets to Coachella & reserved a place to stay. Also, Valentine’s Day is coming up. Should I do it now or wait later? I just don’t like wasting money and breaking up before a holiday is just mean.

You know what’s really mean? Pretending you still want to be with someone for a Coachella ticket. End it now. Make it fast and clean.

Don’t let your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend go through all that Valentine’s Day bullshit when you’ve already checked out of the relationship. That’s not cool.

Besides, Coachella is still seventy-five days away. If you’re the kind of twit who refers to Valentines Day as an actual holiday, I can’t imagine you’d be able to fake it for two and a half months.

Don’t worry about wasting money. That’s ridiculous. You can make money. Coachella tickets are going for seven hundred bucks at the moment. Your boyfriend could go onto Craigslist right now and list the room reservation and two three day passes as a “Coachella Break-Up Package” and sell that shit for well over two grand.

Of course, if you really wanna go to Coachella, you could always offer to buy him out after the break-up. Find a friend who’ll throw down for his ticket and half of the room. Do you have a crazy-ass wingbitch with a solid ecstasy hook-up? That’s the girl you ask first.

Whatever you do, don’t wait to end things. This is prime break-up season, so if you’re sure it’s over, just get it done.

“the ignorant fucks who think we were put on the planet to rule over the animals”- Do you think you could elaborate on which sort of person you’re referring to? I never pictured you as a PETA type or anything.

Fuck PETA. They’re just the NRA for puppies. I’m referring to people who take the Book of Genesis literally.

It takes a special kind of asshole to think that mankind holds dominion over every living creature that moves on earth. The only thing we’ve got going for us is a little extra pulp in our frontal lobes.

Don’t ever forget, we’re 98% chimpanzee and 50% banana.

I’m a big fan, etc. etc., and I, like you, am in informed atheist who chooses to pick and choose my battles with people of religious persuasion… including my family. However, recently, something has been bothering me. My family takes my little sisters to church every sunday (aged 13 and 8, the younger being 13 years younger than me) and this weekend the youngest asked my why I never go to church. I didn’t really know what to say. On one hand, I think she should know that I am an atheist (and of course I would explain to her exactly what that means), but on the other, I know telling her that would upset her. She LOVES church and tells me so all the time. I feel guilty for saying something I think she won’t understand and might upset her, especially given her age. At the same time, I think telling her MY beliefs is no different than my parents imposing their religion on her. So, what do you think? Spill my guts, or smile and tell her to run along?

If she’s still getting visits from Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, then there’s no harm in letting her be a child for a little while longer, especially if she’s just being fed the watered-down Sunday School fantasy ride most churches are serving up these days.

It would be a different story if your church was particularly hardcore with its scare tactics about hellfire and damnation, or if your baby sister had any anxiety about its ridiculous mythology. She loves it though, and that’s okay for now.

Once she knows the truth about Santa Claus and clearly demonstrates the ability to exhibit logical thinking, feel free to have a frank and honest discussion about your beliefs.